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By anonymous - 03/02/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I spent nearly an hour thawing out my car and driving to work in this stupid freezing rain, only to find out that I'm now unemployed due to budget cuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 041

You deserved it 2 333

By cassiebee - 04/11/2012 14:16 - United States - Morgan

Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 160

You deserved it 29 345

Girl Bossing

By annie - 10/01/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I was told I would also be covering some of my boss's shifts next week. She gets to go on a vacation to Europe with the bonus we earned her last year. That's why she was tightening our deadlines to the point where some of the employees had to hire babysitters for their children so we could stay at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 140

Where'd you go?

By omgjessp - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 963

You deserved it 4 063

By Anonymous - 08/10/2013 21:16 - United States - West Chicago

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 356

You deserved it 8 399

By Olive - 19/12/2008 04:11 - France

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 338

You deserved it 40 782

Help! I need somebody!

By Anonymous - 30/10/2021 02:00 - Sweden

Today, I finally built up the courage to seek professional help for my eating disorder. Apparently I don't meet the criteria, so I was denied help and got sent away. So basically, I'll have to get even sicker for them to take me seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 103

By loserllamalick - 07/10/2013 14:32 - United States - Rochester

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 737

You deserved it 39 701

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 06:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 199

You deserved it 3 621

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 232

You deserved it 3 585

By Anonymous - 02/12/2011 06:15 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 079

You deserved it 2 720

By Me - 31/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 3 180

By Earplugged - 25/01/2015 05:01 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I have to wear earplugs in my own apartment because my neighbor won't turn down his music. My landlord doesn't believe me because "people with disabilities can't be rude." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 731

You deserved it 2 165

By roo - 27/01/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 965

You deserved it 13 434

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 821

You deserved it 36 024

By Sybille - 06/12/2008 12:14 - France

Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 533

You deserved it 4 071

Bless you

By Achoo - 31/01/2023 02:30

Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 198

Genius

By Anonymous - 09/06/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised I’d raised an idiot when my daughter confidently told me she discovered an infinite money glitch by just using one of her credit cards to pay off her other credit card, then swapping them over every month. This is why she’s 28 and still living in her childhood bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 209

By waterspike - 29/01/2010 13:18 - France

Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 815

You deserved it 9 991

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 23:54 - United States

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 864

You deserved it 38 348

Dishwasher pod challenged

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 23:00

Today, after submitting a work order to our landlord due to our dishwasher being “broken”, my roommate and I found out there is a wrong way to put dishwasher pods in. We’re both 25 and have gone our whole lives not knowing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 889

Tradcath

By Anonymous - 30/01/2023 16:30

Today, my husband won’t speak to our son anymore, because our son has slowly become more religious and is now studying to be a priest, "bringing shame on the family" as my husband calls it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 259

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/06/2024 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a new restaurant when I went to the restroom. When I was done, I sat back down at the table, and idly started listening to my friends chatting. After a few seconds, I realized I'd sat at the wrong table, with complete strangers, who were too polite and/or bemused to say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 512

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 29/12/2025 20:00

Today, after my cute girlfriend got out of the shower and was walking over to our bed. I asked, "Now that you're all clean, want to sit on my face?" To which she replied, "Ya sure, I've not gone poop yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 299

By hairy - 30/09/2013 21:59 - United Kingdom - Guildford

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 423

You deserved it 3 843

Help!

By katie - 27/01/2010 20:03 - France

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 669

You deserved it 3 887

First day

By AnotherCrazyCatLady - 20/11/2021 20:03 - Australia

Today, I joined my local fire department. While there, I struggled to open a door. Thinking it was locked, someone saw me and opened it. No it wasn't locked. I just didn't push it hard enough. Great first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 251

By Sammy - 25/11/2011 08:44 - United States

Today, I re-broke my leg. The same way I broke it the first time, playing frisbee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 004

You deserved it 13 921

By yesnomaybeso7 - 12/07/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, my daughter's handsome new boyfriend came to visit our house. When I opened the door, he asked me where Diana's mother was. I assumed he was about to be charming and say that he thought I was her sister. He didn't. He assumed that I was Diana's grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 570

You deserved it 5 622

By jadakorn - 11/07/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 140

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 550

You deserved it 1 657

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 365

You deserved it 4 625

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about LGBT rights, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grandkids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 086

You deserved it 5 247

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs. The guy behind me was kind enough to ask if I was okay. He then called his friends over so they could laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 899

You deserved it 3 012

Today, my insane mother struck again. She refused to drive me to my doctor’s appointment for my asthma because the office won’t let her bring her precious doggo inside and it’s too cold to sit in the car with it. No, she won’t leave it at home like a normal person, and no it’s not a service dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 111

Today, after three months of wait, I expected to have a diagnosis and treatment plan from my doctor. Instead, I got an appointment with a surgeon "just to be sure", and an appointment with a GP to get referrals to two other doctors for more appointments. Meanwhile, my health gets worse and worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 112