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By Anonwymous - 18/10/2009 10:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 986

You deserved it 5 536

Quite the hobby

By chellegbelle - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Graham

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 706

You deserved it 4 006

By that_culinary_degree_though - 13/05/2014 02:46 - United States - Auburn

Today, my mom invited me over yet again so I could practice my culinary degree by making an exquisite, gourmet meal for her dog; a three year old Pomeranian who pees in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 394

You deserved it 5 143

By Anonymous - 07/04/2013 04:07 - United States - Carrollton

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 266

You deserved it 3 290

By CallMeJesusFreak - 23/06/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 030

You deserved it 7 955

By sleepy - 15/10/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I had a Biochemistry exam. I studied all night but took a nap to get some rest because my exam was in the morning. I woke up at 10, feeling very confident. My exam was at 9. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 967

You deserved it 29 344

By AngryLittleMan - 23/04/2012 03:00 - United States

Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 609

You deserved it 2 210

By mlowy - 09/05/2014 05:35 - Azerbaijan - Baku

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 181

You deserved it 4 173

By anon - 21/06/2011 11:52 - United States

Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 858

You deserved it 7 282

By Anonymous - 23/08/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 036

You deserved it 3 675

Thanks for the memories

By Anonymous - 13/10/2009 03:12 - United States

Today, my mom lit a candle in our living room, telling the family how much she loved it. She then went on the tell us that my dad got it for her and it must have been some cheap candle. I bought the candle as a gift for her on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 995

You deserved it 3 138

Funny how?

By WTF, Mom?? - 13/10/2023 09:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, one of my coworkers decided it'd be funny to tell our boss that I made creepy comments about his teenage daughter. The worst part is that the aforementioned lying coworker is my mother. I wish I was joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 118

By Anonymous - 04/05/2014 23:28 - United States - Madison

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 797

You deserved it 6 026

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 483

You deserved it 4 174

Yearbook blues

By Anonymous - 02/05/2014 19:51 - United States

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh." Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 777

You deserved it 4 474

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 555

You deserved it 192

Night piss anxiety

By Anonymous - 28/04/2021 21:30 - United States - Brookline

Today, I tried not drinking water for a few hours before bed, because I hate waking up and having to pee. I woke up feeling gross and dehydrated instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 328

New sex tape just leaked

By Anonymous - 18/10/2023 20:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me when I saw a sex tape in which he was in. He claimed it was from before we met. I went to delete it and I clicked “info” by mistake and I ended up seeing the date it was filmed and even the location. I still haven’t told him I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 151

By fhe - 16/04/2012 15:52 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 671

You deserved it 2 691

By ekoblick - 17/06/2011 04:34 - United States

Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 388

You deserved it 3 924

By BrokeAsAJoke - 29/03/2009 13:38 - United States

Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 305

You deserved it 64 311

Overboard

By sofked - 09/10/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, the disgruntled ex-boyfriend of a woman who lives three floors down from me slashed her tires for breaking up with him. He also, for good measure, slashed the tires of the person parked to the left and right of her. I was parked to the right of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 828

You deserved it 2 200

Adding insult to injury

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 12:00 - United States - Overland Park

Today, it's not bad enough that I'm fighting stage 4 colorectal cancer, and that I'm 3 weeks out of colostomy surgery, during the night, it came unhooked from my body in my sleep. I woke up to the smell of shit, and I was covered in dried shit, glued to my sheets. It made it through 2 'waterproof' mattress protectors, to the expensive foam mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 99

Not in front of Him

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't kiss me because there was a picture of Superman on my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 306

You deserved it 10 357

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 15/08/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 234

You deserved it 42 261

Dad of the year

By Anonymous - 23/10/2023 07:00

Today, my son has failed all his exams, no university will take him, he keeps getting fired from part time jobs for incompetence, and generally makes goldfish look smart in comparison. His mother refuses to admit she should have quit drinking while she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 271

By fuckyoutoo - 24/03/2013 23:47 - Canada - Armstrong

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 350

You deserved it 9 647

By Sios - 11/04/2012 15:06 - United States - Louisville

Today, I found out that my apartment complex has no rules against having charcoal grills on the porch. So did the guy who lives below me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 976

You deserved it 2 819

By burnmyeyes - 19/04/2014 21:26 - United States - Richmond

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 413

You deserved it 5 337

Never enough

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 231

You deserved it 3 956

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The Top

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 869

You deserved it 4 744

Today, I realized that the black leggings I wear quite often become see-through when I bend over. I have been showing the world my ass as well as my thong for over a month now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 498

You deserved it 56 772

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 639

You deserved it 42 441

Today, I woke up knowing I'd done all my homework, so I'd have the day free. My dad calls me into his room to tell me that I have 3 outstanding exam papers to hand in this week. It was summer homework, set by my school's online learning website that I didn’t know it existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 490

Today, I helped my best friend step out of the friendzone. As a result, I don't have a boyfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 209

Today, I had to give back the Christmas present to who I thought was my best friend. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I declined. Apparently, because I don’t feel the same way he does, I don’t deserve it. I was under the impression that he’d given me this present to be a friend, not to get in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 213