The Top

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Shoot your shot

By Anonymous - 27/05/2025 18:00 - China - Wuhan

Today, I learnt through others that my crush will be emigrating to the US in a month's time. We've known each other for almost three years but I'm too afraid to say it. But then we will never cross paths again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 364

Self-confidence boost

By Uri - 12/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 156

Reverse Uno card

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I made a small mistake, I admit, but my boss screamed at me that I’m completely useless and that if my uncle weren’t senior manager he’d fire me. I think he’s mistaken me for someone else, since I don’t have any uncles, but if I tell him that now, I actually believe he will fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 82

Suspicious minds

By Summer - 14/07/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I came back home from an errand and found my ex in bed, embracing my 20 year-old daughter. They said that nothing has been going on. Glad he's an ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 94

How can I make everything about me?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 187

Not even once

By Anonymous - 23/07/2025 08:00 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I got addicted to online slots, racked up nearly €30,000 in debt, and completely ruined my financial future. It’s been almost a year since I stopped gambling, but the shame and the debt are still crushing me. I’m trying to get back on my feet and even created a fundraiser just to breathe a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 614

The world is a scary place, best be prepared

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I have spent the last two hours at work looking for the gas pump model of a different gas station than the one I usually go to, only because I don’t want to be embarrassed if I don't know how to use it. All thanks to my crippling anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 214

Naira bucks

By Anonymous - 01/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I confidently walked into a meeting thinking I looked sharp in my new shirt. Halfway through, someone pointed out that the tag was still hanging out the back, flapping like a flag. It wasn’t even a size tag, it literally said "₦5,500" in bold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 318

Lone wolf

By the loneliest number - 14/10/2025 20:00

Today, it’s almost my birthday. Instead of the big fun celebration I’d hoped to have, I’ve cut ties with most of my deeply toxic friend group. I think being alone is better than being surrounded by fake friends and real enemies, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 93

Bad friend

By Anonymous - 31/10/2025 15:00

Today, my friend threw a milkshake at a guy spinning a sign on the side of the road. The guy stormed over and dragged my friend out the car window. When I jumped out to help, I'd forgotten to put my car in park, and it rolled across the street and hit a ditch. Then the sign spinner kicked both our asses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 063

Holiday season

By Anonymous - 25/11/2025 09:00

Today, I’m a recovering alcoholic. With the upcoming holiday, I have two choices; I can go over my family’s house who are all heavy drinkers and hope I don’t relapse, or I can stay home by myself and hope the crushing loneliness doesn’t drive me back to the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 91

Music sounds better with you

By Miranda - 06/12/2025 00:00

Today, my crush shared his listening age on Spotify Wrapped, as well as his top artists. We happen to have the same listening age and top artists. Yet he rejected me as a girlfriend because I’m “not his type.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 493

Tough time for the edgelords

By Confused - 29/12/2025 00:00

Today, I have a dilemma. I was really upset when Charlie Kirk was shot, and yelled at people who made fun of his death. However, I find the Kirkification memes edgy and funny, but I can't take part because I would be called out for being a hypocrite or worse. I don't want to get kirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 756

Plenty of fish (or not)

By Lonely - 05/01/2026 03:00

Today, I have been single for four years. During this time, I have hit it off with a dozen women. Ten of them turned out to be very religious or in cults, which is a deal breaker to me. Of the remaining two, one became a dear friend before blocking me when she met her now boyfriend, and the last one is asexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 149

Show yourself!

By Coneer - 19/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told an employee to turn her camera on during a meeting when she worked remote. Since she refused to turn it on, I questioned the veracity of whether she was actually working at home, so I threatened to take disciplinary action. She responded by filing a complaint to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 574

Also great baby name suggestions

By unloved - 22/01/2026 22:00

Today, my boyfriend has trained my three cats to respond to "Fart Cat", "Little Shit", and "Lumpy Butt" as well as their actual names. I'd be less annoyed if all three didn't adore him and sit on his lap every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 113

Badass

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 20:00

Today, my grandmother got caught trying to rob a casino. She was planning this for months, and is claiming I was an integral part of the heist. I'm fifteen and had no idea she was planning this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 67

How the other half lives

By They're children, they want to play - 18/02/2026 12:00

Today, I got a noise complaint about "loud stomping" in my apartment disturbing the tenant below. I guess I'm supposed to tell my sweet children that they are no longer allowed to play in their own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 667

Planned parenthood

By NPRM - 03/03/2026 00:00

Today, my husband and I got into yet another fight because he wants a second kid and I don't. One kid is enough for any family but he won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 303

Worst teeth in the game

By Anonymous - 02/04/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 83

No laugh track required

By Anonymous - 06/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 132

Praise the Lord

By Anonymous - 11/05/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, at 7am on a Saturday, my next door neighbor set up a preacher guy with a mic and large speaker. It's 2pm, and I can still hear him screaming about Jesus through my foam insulated walls and $300 noise canceling headphones. I can't sleep, and I'm injured so I can't leave home. That's my Shabbat ruined! FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 128

Falling

By Kassy - 16/05/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I treated myself to an hour long massage. Halfway through, I mumbled, “Thank you” to the masseuse and, without thinking, added, “I love you.” There was a long pause. Then she patted my head and whispered, “You’re welcome.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 341

Looking good

By Gracie - 20/05/2025 12:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at the gym, I caught sight of myself in the mirror while lifting weights and thought, “Damn, I look good!” I smiled. Then I realized the mirror was actually a window. A group of people outside had been watching me flex with a shit-eating grin on my face for God know how long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 571

Thanks, Canada!

By Cough Cough - 06/06/2025 20:00 - United States - Steele

Today, just like every other day, I live in the Midwest. If you're not living in the Midwest, and you're wondering how we're doing with the Canadian wildfire smoke, I'm here to tell you that we're quite miserable. Especially if you're me, a person who already has very janky lungs. I'm afraid to leave the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 104

Lost it

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to an escape room on a date. I was convinced I’d be the puzzle-solving hero, so I sprinted ahead… straight into a low-hanging laser sensor that set off alarms and locked every door. We had to be rescued by staff, and my date still hasn’t talked to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 681

Meanwhile, at Harvard…

By 552220000 - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I raised my hand to answer a question, but I forgot the answer, so when the teacher called on me, I just said, "I need to pee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 628

The body keeps the score

By Shitty situation hur hur - 23/07/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, my wife called me at work, crying, because she shat her pants. I'd feel more sympathy if she ever ate fruit, or vegetables, or anything other than sugar and carbs, or took the prescription fiber supplements her doctor prescribed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 119

The first step is acknowledging it

By Alex - 23/09/2025 15:00

Today, I fucked up. I let my mental health problems and the alcohol win. I was horrible to my wife and basically ended my marriage due to my problems and insecurities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 522

Overbearing

By Anonymous - 28/09/2025 22:00

Today, my mom got in my house while I was on vacation and “cleaned it” AKA moved everything around. Now every time I ask her, “Mom, where's my unpaid bill?” or “Mom, where’s my blue suit?” or “Mom, where’s my work ID?” all I get from her is, “Oh it must be somewhere; where did you see it last?” AAAAAAAARGH FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 90

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 828

You deserved it 8 728

Today, I asked my Instagram followers out of curiosity who their favourite influencer was. Someone replied, without knowing it doesn’t come up anonymously, “Not you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 2 268

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 957

You deserved it 3 180

Today, my allergies are so bad that it's affected the way my voice sounds. It's so bad my mom has taken to calling me Aflac because I sound like the duck in the commercials. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 544

You deserved it 4 392

Today, I finished a 50-page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I find I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 209

You deserved it 39 867

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 942

You deserved it 6 937