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By pooped - 13/05/2009 09:49 - China

Today, I was walking to find a public toilet in a Chinese village. While looking for the women's restroom, I stepped on a thin sheet of plastic. I fell into the toilet's waste collection area and found myself knee-deep in the villagers' faeces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 065

You deserved it 5 875

By Anonymous - 27/10/2014 06:01 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 032

You deserved it 5 192

By Ladycakes - 04/06/2012 10:13 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 862

You deserved it 6 935

By maebyf - 31/08/2010 14:48 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 013

You deserved it 8 384

By tay - 10/04/2012 11:13 - Australia

Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 656

You deserved it 3 603

By nV1ous - 17/09/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 118

You deserved it 57 025

By noballs - 18/08/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 650

You deserved it 51 857

foxtmac218 tells us more.

foxtmac218 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 16:56

this was me and no they were like 17. im 19 and my boss told me it was bad for buisness to have them loitering in our parking lot so i told them to leave. when i said no balls i figured he would walk away. the guy was strong as hell

By Heather - 12/11/2012 21:20 - United States - Bethesda

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 238

You deserved it 3 243

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 02:09 - United States

Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 889

You deserved it 5 659

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 673

You deserved it 9 541

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 07:33 - United States - Alpine

Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 269

You deserved it 4 367

By cantfallbackasleep - 22/10/2015 14:05 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was called a ruthless bitch for not waking up early to search for my car keys, so my boyfriend could go get his pipe and get high before work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 794

You deserved it 5 380

Tricked

By Sniffles - 26/04/2014 12:28 - Ireland

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend four months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 584

You deserved it 30 441

By desperate - 26/09/2009 14:15 - Denmark

Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 053

You deserved it 52 241

By Alpheas - 30/05/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 658

You deserved it 4 442

By jseid2 - 15/01/2014 05:54 - United States - San Leandro

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 945

You deserved it 15 459

By Anonymous - 05/05/2015 15:31 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 530

You deserved it 3 735

FOCUS!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 2 715

By oww - 09/03/2010 11:14 - United States

Today, I learned not to jump off a stage if nobody is going to catch you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 243

You deserved it 38 304

By Will - 21/02/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 218

You deserved it 2 769

By um - 08/02/2011 00:54

Today, I told my new boss to wish his daughter a happy birthday on my behalf, as I overheard him saying it was today. Turns out she committed suicide three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 559

You deserved it 8 010

By fnfantastic - 04/11/2012 16:37 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 364

You deserved it 30 277

By Amsterdamned13 - 13/09/2013 19:02 - Netherlands - Leiderdorp

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 657

You deserved it 3 627

Amsterdamned13 tells us more.

Amsterdamned13 8

Saturday 14 September 2013 16:20

To everyone: she told me in a funny way after seeing the phone. He is an EX now, and for now most deff no contact with her. Thanks for kind and also unkind words. Gr from Amsterdam

By princesspuffypan - 05/10/2011 06:23 - South Africa

Today, I was supposed to get married but we had to postpone as the best man fled the country. With the marriage certificate and vendor money. Not to mention the rings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 533

You deserved it 3 456

princesspuffypan tells us more.

princesspuffypan 10

Wednesday 8 August 2012 22:00

This is my FML... yes I am married now and no the cops didn't catch him. The reason he was best man in the first place was due to family politics. We managed to have a small wedding shortly after but we still had to pay cost of cancellation.