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Hey guys OP here. To answer some questions, yes I have told my grandmother various times that I have a retainer, and that it looks like packaging and to not throw it away. I do keep it in a plastic case but I only wear it at night so when I am out shopping for her or walking her animals she snoops in my stuff. I have tried keeping it in my room to keep away from her but the door always "accidentally" opens and her animals find it and play with it because animals like the saliva taste on the retainer, it is then she thinks it's packaging and throws it away.

Dude, STFU!

By Cyberdeeder - 13/10/2008 08:19

Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 162

You deserved it 20 275

By mooseknuckle - 31/05/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I realized that the closest thing I have to a savings account is the cup on my dresser with coins in it. I counted it, $17.34. That is my savings. I'm 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 835

You deserved it 50 763

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 19:11 - United States

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 275

You deserved it 20 972

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 459

You deserved it 22 982

By earthlyscum - 19/05/2015 02:27 - United States - Tinley Park

Today, I woke up to my roommates "pet" snake casually lying in bed with me. I then got yelled at for screaming and scaring the snake. Apparently, it's my fault that it bit my chin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 022

You deserved it 3 685

earthlyscum tells us more.

earthlyscum 19

Tuesday 19 May 2015 22:10

**** that, I'll eat the damn thing first

By Anonymous - 27/10/2013 16:08 - United States - Ballwin

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 107

You deserved it 5 505

Lunch is on me

By crosseyed - 10/06/2009 19:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 323

You deserved it 74 561

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 07:02 - United States

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 451

You deserved it 2 804

By -insert clever nickname here- - 29/04/2012 23:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 534

You deserved it 15 046

By Monroe - 23/06/2011 22:30 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 351

You deserved it 4 252

By juno_op - 11/02/2013 18:17 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 070

You deserved it 12 031

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juno_op 8

Tuesday 12 February 2013 0:20

Hiii, I'm the OP. thanks for all the lovely comments, although there's a few that aren't very nice. I'm 24 btw, not 16, and I did use birth control, but you do know it's only 99% safe, right? These things can sadly happen. And we broke up because he was going.

By GrippedMyBalls - 15/07/2009 13:21 - Korea Republic of

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 385

You deserved it 9 047