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Bodyshaming

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 14:02 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my coworker doesn't want to go to lunch with me anymore, after I lost a load of weight in lockdown and she's still "overweight." Apparently, I've "changed, and not the same person." FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 77

Playing favorites

By Anonymous - 18/02/2022 04:00

Today, I heard my daughter-in-law refer to her twin daughters, my precious twin grandbabies, as “the good one” and “the shit stain”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 193

Happy Birthday baby!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2020 11:02 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, it's my birthday. My parents wished me a happy one via text message. We live in the same house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 106

There's still hope, then?

By Anonymous - 07/10/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my abusive ex came over to my apartment, hoping to "work things out." Not only did we break up more than 13 years ago, but I moved to a different state just to get away from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 76

Wingnut

By Anonymous - 11/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, my dad's conspiracy lunatic of a new wife reported my husband and me to CPS because she found out that we vaccinated our kids. I know I shouldn't worry but one single false allegation is all it takes to ruin lives and lose custody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 57

Uncomfortable

By Jules - 09/12/2020 08:02 - Germany - Norden

Today, while many women have a wardrobe full of nothing-to-wear, my mom has a fridge full of nothing-to-eat and a living room full of nowhere-to-sit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 116

Thanks, morons

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, several anonymous customer complaints prevented me getting employee of the month, which also means I’m not getting my raise. The complaints came from my son and his friends, who thought it was funny. My wife has early dementia and can’t work, so I needed that money, so so badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 71

Turned on… and off

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was washing the dishes when my wife came in wearing a new lingerie set, smiling at me. I dropped what I was doing and carried her to bed. After we'd finished, she went downstairs for a drink, saw the dishes I hadn't cleaned, and started a fight. Now I'm on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 168

She knew

By Anonymous - 23/05/2023 03:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, a photographer came to take photos of my house for listing. While showing her around, she said, “I’ll just get this hair tie out of the shot” and picked it up. It wasn’t a hair tie. It was my rubber cock ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 1 427

Midlife crisis in style

By Anonymous - 15/03/2022 14:00

Today, my husband started his midlife crisis with a bang, or rather several bangs, as he admitted that there are two women out there pregnant with his babies. Oh, and he quit his job to escape the daily grind. Oh, and he remortgaged the house to buy a truck so we could go cross country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 499

You deserved it 111

Dr Pimple Popper

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 22:00

Today, a doctor squeezed so much cheese out of a huge lump on my nutsack, for a second I was convinced he’d poked a hole in my bollock and was squeezing out my baby-making juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 441

Jumping the gun

By just lookin out - 31/05/2023 03:00

Today, I saw my sister’s husband kissing another woman in a restaurant. I lost it, flipped their table, and got the cops called on all of us. Turns out they’re poly and she’s their third. Or she was going to be. My sister is now mad at me for “scaring her off”. My bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 1 279

Consideration

By Anonymous - 27/02/2022 02:00

Today, my ex referred to missing my last two weekends with my daughter as an example of my typical unreliable parenting. I was in hospital after a drug addict stabbed me in the intestines with a broken glass bong, used to smoke god only knows what, but sure, it’s typical me behaviour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 612

You deserved it 185

Walked into that one

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I told my date she'd look hot as a blonde. She replied saying I'd be hot with a few extra inches. Furious, I yelled at her that I couldn't control my height. She replied that she "wasn't referring to my height." FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 014

Not today, thank you

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 00:01

Today, I tried reaching out to a girl on Facebook I thought I ended on good terms with after three dates. Not only did she not accept my friend request, she also disabled all friend requests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 356

FML: The Showdown #2

By Louis - 29/03/2017 21:05

Who will be your champion this week?

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 131

Get better jokes

By nosy ass bitch! - 30/03/2022 16:00

Today, my classmate overheard me on the phone making an appointment at the women’s health center. The dumb bitch told everyone I was going to the clinic for STD treatment. I was scheduling my biopsy for a lump in my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 108

Stuck

By Anonymous - 14/01/2021 05:00 - United States

Today, while on my way to deliver aluminum to a customer on top of a really steep hill, there wasn't enough room to do a U-turn without clipping a vehicle. I had to go through some mud, so now the company semi is bumper-deep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 185

A bit of an overreaction

By Anonymous - 24/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the reason my ex-fiance didn't visit me in the hospital after my accident, which I dumped him for, was because the hospital wouldn't let him in because he wasn't family. He's blocked my number, returned the ring and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 725

Suit yourself

By Anonymous - 24/06/2023 03:00 - Germany

Today, I offered my boyfriend medicine which is quite likely to help with his pollen allergy and other health problems, free of charge, and without side effects. I also pointed out an easy fix to keep the pollen out of his apartment. He said, “No thanks” to both, and just kept on complaining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 154

Cheeky bastard

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 16:00

Today, a guy tried to take a picture up my skirt, so I loudly confronted him. Just as loudly, he called me a liar because who’d want an "up-skirt of a whale" like me. No one else on the train tried to help me, and I could tell from their dirty looks they agreed with the pervert 100%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 345

Surveillance

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 18:00

Today, I showed my boss the app where I can remotely monitor my new home security cameras. As we panned the camera around, we were greeted by my son smoking a bong - sound and all. Way to go, boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 313

Sponges

By ToxicFamily - 10/12/2024 03:00 - Germany

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 128

Grilled

By Anonymous - 17/07/2023 03:00

Today, I made several beautiful steaks on the grill, then set them to rest. While I left to use the bathroom, my four year-old decided they looked yucky and poured syrup on them. My wife was too busy giggling and recording it to stop her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 208

Please Mr Postman

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 03:00 - United States - Fairfax

Today, I'm expecting an important delivery that I need so I don’t lose my job. My neighbors decided that today was a great day to have a team of landscapers come to cut down some trees. I'm in a tight cul de sac and they're blocking my driveway. Guess who’s gonna lose his job today? FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 157

I think you should leave

By Anonymous - 31/07/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I warned my new boyfriend not to approach my ferret, as he is still quite young and bites when he plays. He ignored me completely because “animals love him”, and when my ferret latched onto his finger, he threw him across the room. Now I can’t find him anywhere in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 92

Girls' trip, baby!

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my I told my girlfriend I was owed an explanation as to why I've been ghosted since her "Girls' trip" out of state. She said she just didn't want to deal with me being upset about her snapping a guy she spent the two days with, and they were all over each in a picture she tried to hide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 103

We're so happy for you, sorta!

By Ann - 13/02/2021 21:28

Today, my boyfriend, who is also a coworker, proposed to me in the parking of the store we work at when it was dark out. He came up behind me, and, thinking it was some creep, I stabbed him with my car keys. The scar will alway help him remember our engagement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 192

Booze don't cure the blues

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 13:58 - United States - Edison

Today, it was my birthday, and even the person who seemed excited about me finally turning 21 and can legally drink forgot. Guess who got drunk alone tonight? This guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 181

Mix up

By Bd Grndp - 05/05/2022 14:00

Today, as part of my grandad's great struggle to return to the 1960's, he tried to refuse a lifesaving blood transfusion until the nurse could confirm the blood hadn't been donated by anyone who was black, brown, chinese or asian, and so on. My dad is black and I'm half black, so I suspect he doesn't like me either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 125

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The Top

Today, at work, our boss's son came in to help. The whole time he was there he sat in the back on his phone not helping and whenever we asked him to do something, he had an attitude. The only time he voluntarily got up to help was when his dad came in to check on the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 734

You deserved it 1 454

Today, my neighbors left for their nine month excursion, and armed their security system. One of the features is a loud series of three beeps every three seconds, 24 hours a day. I can hear it, clear as a bell, throughout my entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 419

You deserved it 1 595

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 500

You deserved it 6 462

Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, the jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 860

You deserved it 22 164

Today, I found out that just because you collapse from dehydration on the sidewalk, it doesn't mean people are going to stop driving to see if you're okay, even if they saw you fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 239

You deserved it 6 926

Today, I took my girlfriend to get her nails done, gave her 500 spending money, took her to eat, bought her son a TV, then bought her clothes. We get to her house, she steps inside then gets furious her son had made a mess and hadn't cleaned his room. She told me to take the TV back, which I did, then got reamed for doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 297