Sex Intimacy Woof woof - FML

Woof woof

kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Sexy catboys rule my life

verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

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Anonymous - 13/09/2012 05:30 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

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Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

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Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

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WTF dude?

Bug5992 - 09/12/2012 22:46 - United States - Kent

Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

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The Great Pretender

CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

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Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

Kelsiiii - 11/03/2020 03:00

Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML

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Make believe

somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

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Groucho

beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

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Drafrica - 13/10/2014 10:20 - South Africa

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

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n1rvanat1zed 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 23:11

So he basically doesn't understand exactly how doggiestyle works.

littlemissdqgirl 8

Thursday 20 May 2010 23:12

Wow, your sex life must be kinky lol

canitbe 0

Friday 21 May 2010 0:40

hahah atleast he wasn't sniffy around

bigchedda 0

Friday 21 May 2010 1:03

I completely agree with 91, weird = WIN!

dancingsmile 0

Friday 21 May 2010 1:25

mattman. your hot

brianjman14 22

Friday 21 May 2010 1:29

I'm just going to say it like everyone else and make a bad joke. "doggie style, op was the bitch hahahahahahaha" (sarcasm)

brianjman14 22

Friday 21 May 2010 1:31

sorry, op's bf was the bitch*

stupid20201 0

Friday 21 May 2010 1:43

ummm weird but oddly amusing

BlaqMetal13 0

Friday 21 May 2010 1:43

So?

johnnyg1018 0

Friday 21 May 2010 1:44

lmfao

DiNgO_lOvE 0

Friday 21 May 2010 1:49

thats just hillarious! xD

dgirl1 0

Friday 21 May 2010 1:54

haha! that's retarded!

cmastabackhand 0

Friday 21 May 2010 2:10

hahahahaha honestly I'd make fun of him but my friend bet me $5 next time I had sex with a girl I wouldn't make animal noises and I did. so maybe it was a bet? or a dare?

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Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

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Today, I got back to my hotel at the same time as my supervisor and realized we had rooms right next to each other. I thought it was funny and said good night to him… only to remember that I had slept with HIS boss last night. We were not quiet. FML

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Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

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Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML

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Today, while picking up one of my older kids from school, I started talking to another parent. He commented that it had been quite a year in the kindergarten, because every day his kids come home telling stories about two girls, Hannah and Pi, and all the things they did that day. Hannah is my daughter, Pi is her nickname. FML

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Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

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