Money Today, while I was fundraising, one man threw his cigarette butt... - FML

anonymous - 14/04/2016 16:05 - United States - Somerville

Today, while I was fundraising, one man threw his cigarette butt into my jar. FML

3

0

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

29 664

15 564

Today, a man kept talking and laughing like an idiot all through the movie I was watching. I thought he was high, so I called him a moron and told him to shut the hell up. It turned out he wasn't high. He was just "special". FML

18 874

11 398

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

32 178

3 785

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

30 339

7 579

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents I think I'm suffering from schizophrenia. They refused to discuss it after telling me, "It's all in my head." FML

1 636

138

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

64 401

12 248