Kids: Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that...

By campmom - 08/07/2009 05:02

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 425

You deserved it 3 840

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Same thing different taste

By Lady Douche of Asscrackington - 10/10/2013 20:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 568

You deserved it 3 587

By parent - 08/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 244

You deserved it 2 845

By mandybar15 - 14/12/2012 23:52 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 338

You deserved it 6 701

Misunderstood

By not a phobe - 16/07/2020 08:02

Today, my son told our whole family and all our friends that I kicked him out for being gay. I kicked him out because on more than one occasion he got drunk and sneaked random men in the house while he was supposed to be watching his younger siblings while I worked nights. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 401

You deserved it 278

By blahppl14 - 27/12/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 13 521

But he's only 5

By Anonymous - 18/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 738

Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 166

By Stripperofthemall - 25/08/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 234

You deserved it 2 920

Be careful what you post on the Internet…

By Anonymous - 26/06/2019 06:13 - Canada - Vaudreuil

Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 3 834

By LockandKey - 24/02/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, everyone at school was talking about some guy that did another girl while he was going out with someone. I started to spread the rumor myself, until someone told me that that guy was my boyfriend. The other girl was my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 361

You deserved it 28 297

formosus 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 12:22

Tell your friends you went golfing. Foursome is a very common golfing term.

whenskiesare_gre 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 12:15

Thats just ****** up. People shouldn't tell little kids shit like that.

Comments

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 15:37

I literally laughed out loud. That's ******* AWESOME. I love your son. :D and the people that told him that. sorry about the divorce, though. maybe you couldtry and foursome and -viola!- the divorce is gone :D

spoo 24

Wednesday 8 July 2009 15:52

BTW, so this doesnt confuse anymore people... The person you divorce is your ex-husband or ex-wife.

Schumy0724 4

Wednesday 8 July 2009 16:04

I'm a kinky freak. there's nothing wrong with it

lastminuteperm 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 16:12

You're right! He is a douche!

alsoelp 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 16:30

i don't care who you are. that's legitimately hilarious. the counselor is a dick, but it was funny nonetheless.

ddd44 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 16:35

"All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks." Don't you mean both of his friend's parents? Or does that kid have more than two?

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Thursday 3 February 2011 10:18

I'd bet they meant that their kid has more than one friend and each of those friends comes with parents who now think that the OP and her ex are "kinky freaks" .

zrhcrx 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 16:43

I work for a park district and if one of our camp counselors acted in an immature and unprofessional manner, he would surely be fired. Go to the leader of the camp and ask your kid which one told him. That counselor has proved he is not responsible enough to watch children

craigahh 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 16:43

May I ask what's normal about divorce? I thought marriage is till death.

Cloudy_fml 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 17:03

Half of all marriages end in divorce. So, in that sense, it is rather "normal".

Shyman4ever 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 16:48

Any room for a fivesome?

elfuzzo 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 16:55

YDI for getting a divorce rather than trying to work out the problems in your marriage.

Cloudy_fml 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 17:04

Maybe they already tried but discovered that it was hopeless for them.

mish01 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 3:24

YDI for getting a divorce? Wtf?? And what if the husband is abusive or cheating? Just stick with the marriage, it'll work out aye? We're not in the 50's anymore. Wake up you douche.