Miscellaneous: Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother...

By Anonymous - 08/03/2014 23:13 - United States

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 597

You deserved it 4 741

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 06:28 - United States - Calhan

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 587

You deserved it 3 455

By speed-dialing dr kevorkian - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 179

You deserved it 1 324

Good kid

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 13:59

Today, my mother told me that for a period when I was a baby, every night she stood over my crib with a bottle of bourbon and a gun, convincing herself not to shoot me for ruining her life by being born when she was only 18. I wish I could be more like my siblings, who don't visit her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 127

You deserved it 162

Mah grandbabiiiiiies!!!

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 06:00

Today, my brother-in-law's baby died due to SIDS. I called my mom, hoping to hear words of comfort for losing my nephew at such a young age, but instead she told me to not let something like this scare me into not having kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 126

By fmlgirl - 09/05/2014 18:44 - Netherlands - Hulst

Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 039

You deserved it 3 906

Solid case for the defense

By DT_tasha - 11/09/2022 15:00

Today, our mom hit my brother's head hard against the wall. He was taken to the hospital with a head wound. He came home in the evening, and said that his mom told him to say that it was his sister who'd hit him with a ball. My brother had told me the story and I'd recorded it on a tape recorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 145

Grandma's here!

By Anonymous - 29/10/2021 14:00

Today, my mother-in-law was so rabid to meet her first grandson, she didn’t just nudge me aside to get to the delivery room, she two-hand shoved me in the chest so I flew backwards and down a flight of stairs. I’m now in a neck brace for a hairline crack to my vertebrae and can’t pick up my own son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 697

You deserved it 80

Bad start

By Tripp - 14/07/2019 14:00

Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 627

Food for thought

By Anonymous - 08/11/2012 06:13 - United States - Houston

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 171

You deserved it 2 056

The truth will out

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 11:00

Today, my uncle got drunk and started ranting about how great I was and how amazing it is that I almost wasn’t born because somehow I managed to survive the failed abortion my mom really wanted. News to me. Mom never wanted me and tried to abort me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 88

ironichalibut 24

Sunday 9 March 2014 9:37

I imagine your brother lost his umbilical cord by now, so maybe you're in the clear.. Maybe..

xTuttie 14

Sunday 9 March 2014 9:34

Ouch.. What an awful thing to say. Feeling sorry for you!

Comments

FML_Elle 17

Sunday 9 March 2014 15:12

I don't think that's fair of your mother to say your brother almost killed you. I'm a twin too, and I carried all this guilt around me for years since I was a little kid. I thought it was my fault that my brother was so emasculated and has autism (he was three pounds) because I thought I had ate all his food as a kid ( I was born totally okay.) Now I'm old enough to understand we have different umbilical cords and his didn't developed properly and it's not my fault. No one knows for sure the cause of autism too. Your post was very funny OP but I don't think that your mom should ever say that it was your brothers fault.

Mysterious_one 26

Sunday 9 March 2014 15:30

I believe he was joking.. or not

revelation11B 10

Sunday 9 March 2014 16:26

I now want to watch Highlander. Thanks a lot.

weveallbeenthere 30

Sunday 9 March 2014 16:52

that funny.

SnowFangedBeauty 19

Sunday 9 March 2014 17:19

Why is it such a terrible thing? His brother was joking its not like your going into her womb anytime soon....

xxrebelsxx 13

Sunday 9 March 2014 18:03

Same thing happened to my mom and her twin brother

GotItWow 13

Sunday 9 March 2014 18:20

Nothing like family love.

Michaelgf 13

Sunday 9 March 2014 18:36

Is it just me or was there a similar FML like this one?

vlalam 24

Sunday 9 March 2014 18:42

Sibling love :) what would I not do to have one..

jimmy_poison 19

Sunday 9 March 2014 19:02

Is this really an FML? I guess the FML could be the fact that OP has absolutely no sense of humour. You didn't honestly take your brother seriously, did you?