Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party....

By needsnewshorts - 16/07/2013 01:42 - United States - San Clemente

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 566

You deserved it 23 691

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Same thing different taste

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 469

You deserved it 785

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 598

You deserved it 1 636

Protip

By Herman - 13/02/2023 06:00 - United States - Bedford

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 488

By ass slap - 11/08/2013 15:35 - United States - Broomall

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 255

You deserved it 24 862

By USSEYL - 26/11/2008 04:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 115

You deserved it 27 501

Love is…

By gassygirlfriend - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 393

You deserved it 5 290

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 856

You deserved it 5 157

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 598

You deserved it 12 454

Let it all out

By pottypattypeepants - 31/12/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 720

You deserved it 19 655

Don't answer

By Anonymous - 10/11/2014 14:28 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 623

You deserved it 5 823

dawnimus 21

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:20

Farting turns you on? Wow, that's a very specific fetish...

hotshot0185 15

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:20

You'll last longer in time.

Comments

sugarbaby9908 20

Thursday 18 July 2013 4:33

At least you know what turns you on

newfoundlove39 2

Thursday 18 July 2013 5:22

Nasty :(

ryanboyce 4

Thursday 18 July 2013 8:31

oh god, if that made you cum. man you will love anal.

Thestem 6

Thursday 18 July 2013 8:57

hopefully you didn't get pink eye from it.

NakedPixels 15

Thursday 18 July 2013 10:38

Am I weird for finding this hot?

Pirateace 8

Thursday 18 July 2013 11:57

kinda

Pirateace 8

Thursday 18 July 2013 11:56

girls don't fart...

lyragj 4

Thursday 18 July 2013 18:40

..well that escalated quickly

carnage45567 10

Thursday 18 July 2013 23:02

Fix that problem before you have kids

Marlina_2013 10

Friday 19 July 2013 7:07

that turns me on. haha ..we are all different ;)

maddienoelle 13

Friday 19 July 2013 7:35

I mean whatever gets you going

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The Top

Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 942

You deserved it 2 968

Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 339

You deserved it 43 759

Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 842

You deserved it 371

Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 632

You deserved it 1 753

Today, I set my beer on the windowsill while I made space for it on the table. Suddenly, the wind knocked the window open. Into my beer. Into a box of expensive electronics. It was the last beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 304

You deserved it 3 244

Today, I was berated, then unfriended and blocked on Facebook by an Ukrainian girl, all because I reacted with a “Care” on Facebook on her status about her family back home dealing with the war. Apparently, I’m a “hypocrite” for voting for warmonger Biden, thus “getting them in this mess.” Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 599