Love: Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on...

By oh shit - 06/07/2014 19:28 - United States - Palatine

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 774

You deserved it 8 723

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Same thing different taste

By GirlfriendsAreBadForYourBack - 06/08/2013 16:01 - United States - Lynbrook

Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 851

You deserved it 9 948

By Seabiscuit - 06/07/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 497

You deserved it 77 775

Love is…

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 479

You deserved it 8 876

By çapousse2904 - 12/09/2014 05:45 - France - Le Pr?-saint-gervais

Today, my girlfriend put her hand on my abs and confessed that she was glad I'd secretly started working out. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I've been constipated for three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 182

You deserved it 4 064

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 00:12 - United States

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 188

You deserved it 2 915

By kylie - 15/11/2010 21:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 500

You deserved it 7 218

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 802

You deserved it 1 673

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 058

You deserved it 1 756

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 666

You deserved it 3 561

Romantic

By Anonymous - 23/04/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 837

You deserved it 54 356

WCARlover 34

Sunday 6 July 2014 23:09

This right here is proof that chivalry is not dead

mansfield_j 27

Sunday 6 July 2014 23:10

Hey atleast you made her feel better, sucks you crapped yourself but it's all well worth it to keep your girl happy in my book.

Comments

aoh27 6

Tuesday 8 July 2014 18:21

Well at least your a great boyfriend

ZeTripod 10

Tuesday 8 July 2014 22:46

The name of the FML is great

rigley06 12

Wednesday 9 July 2014 2:21

Hmmm i fail to see the FML i mean even though you shit yourself she didn't notice and it seems that you would have cheered her up.

justinsoren 13

Wednesday 9 July 2014 16:36

At least you got a little work out in

RagingBull527 6

Thursday 10 July 2014 3:25

TwentyFourBeerz 18

Thursday 10 July 2014 15:23

When you shat yourself, the smell didn't give it away ???

shutupshane12 12

Thursday 10 July 2014 17:41

That could have been a shitty situation

SlaySzn 4

Friday 11 July 2014 0:59

Great lad

reaxion 25

Saturday 12 July 2014 22:26

The human body is sometimes a real pain in the arse! Good that you did such a nice thing for your lady though.

LaceUp19XX 7

Friday 18 July 2014 2:03

its horrible, I know.. but I can't seem to stop the tears streaming down my cheeks as I laugh..

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The Top

Today, I got a mass message on WhatsApp from my extended family about my cousin’s engagement. Trying to be funny, I replied, “Wow, can’t wait to see how long this one lasts.” I thought I was sending it to my brother. Only my brother. I sent it to the whole family group. Including my cousin. And her fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 662

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 021

You deserved it 2 503

Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 996

You deserved it 11 515

Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 292

You deserved it 109 869

Today, I had to dig through my dog's poop again because I thought I saw a worm, but it was just the remains of the paper towels my husband leaves all over the house. My efforts to make them both stop have obviously fallen on deaf ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 440

You deserved it 360

Today, I have a Bachelors of Science at a top university and got denied by Chipotle for a part-time job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 049

You deserved it 1 258

Same thing different taste

Love is…

Romantic

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