Intimacy: Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football....

By hawaiianlovechild - 29/11/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 549

You deserved it 3 944

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Same thing different taste

By blenderbookf - 25/11/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 055

You deserved it 3 201

Take the L

By Chrissy - 20/12/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 74

By meunluckycharms - 14/09/2015 19:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 694

You deserved it 1 852

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 245

TMI

By Anonymous - 16/01/2013 21:08 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 580

You deserved it 4 479

By LoveMyNewBro - 04/01/2011 10:56

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 183

You deserved it 5 937

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 731

You deserved it 19 208

Great joke Dad, thanks

By Anonymous - 05/07/2014 17:53 - United States

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 922

You deserved it 7 921

By kaitylait - 19/08/2011 00:59 - Canada

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 551

You deserved it 11 130

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 20:00 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 039

You deserved it 3 047

Stumblebum30 5

Sunday 29 November 2009 13:27

why is this a FML ?

Moeey 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 12:12

Aloha?

Comments

Jamantha 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 15:29

ha! no but tht sucs....

FromCFL 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 15:42

Hawaii played "the Navy"?? Never heard Navy referred to as "the Navy" before. I'm picturing a carrier group on a football field now....

FHGrif 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 16:14

You think you've got it bad. Conception is a little more than 9 months and my dads birthday is a little more than 9 months before mine.

Clitastrophe 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 17:09

Birthday sex! Woo-Hoo!

Rellich 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 16:17

I don't get it, Hawii's pretty awesome...

shananigans 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 18:11

Anyone see "Four Christmases"? At least they didn't decide to name you after the city you were conceived in. "Is there a... Maui present...?"

post_mortem 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 18:44

OMG, you were not conceived in a lab... That is SO gross...

bbbshe5543 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 19:03

LMAO

garry24 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 19:42

play THE Navy? you're an idiot, and this isn't an fml. go play in traffic

Redrosesandrain 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 21:08

... where's the "so what" button?

fruitschinpo 0

Friday 10 June 2011 20:21

^win^

movies12 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 22:15

#18 I'm watching it right now at the moment. That's just creepy!

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Today, I ordered a beer with my parents at dinner. The waitress said, "Oh, happy 22nd birthday." My parents eyes got really big, and they started to blush. They'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 356

You deserved it 197

Today, my wife informed me her wallet was stolen from her unlocked car in our driveway. Three weeks ago, she misplaced her credit card that has all the monthly charges and Amazon tied to it. We've talked a lot about importance of locking her car, and she's constantly looking for her credit cards, license, etc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 411

Today, my younger sister's dog broke its leg. The vets are closed today so instead of going on a date with a girl I have been trying to get for at least 2 years, I need to carry an 80 lb. dog that hates me, up and down the stairs. I already got bit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 571

You deserved it 3 495

Today, my mother told me I should volunteer in Africa, because I might "get lucky, catch malaria and come back skinny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 639

You deserved it 2 352

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 066

You deserved it 2 990

Today, I've been trapped at home for almost two months because of the epidemic. Now I'm thrilled just to get to go outside to throw garbage away, as if I'm going on a trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 223

Same thing different taste

Take the L

TMI

Great joke Dad, thanks

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