Health: Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why?...

By teeth - 10/08/2011 17:00 - United States

Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 463

You deserved it 2 837

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

WTF Mom?

By Username - 25/11/2012 23:36 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 127

You deserved it 1 903

Non confrontational

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 03:00

Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 2 059

Hygiene 101

By Anonymous - 08/06/2019 18:00

Today, my mother refused to talk to me because I wouldn't let her use my deodorant stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 724

You deserved it 285

Get me out of this shithole

By nothing is sacred - 23/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Reynoldsburg

Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 576

You deserved it 504

By BiteMe - 30/08/2016 23:29 - United States - Upper Marlboro

Today, my dentist told me I have a cavity and blamed it on the "subpar" toothpaste I've been using - the same toothpaste he recommended six months ago at my last appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 301

You deserved it 1 194

#1 Mom

By whoopsboutthecap - 15/11/2011 12:51 - United States

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 275

You deserved it 3 775

By ThaBoss12 - 01/11/2014 22:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 778

You deserved it 3 532

By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 037

You deserved it 5 248

By uofpalum - 19/03/2009 01:41 - United States

Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 499

You deserved it 10 815

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 274

You deserved it 1 730

bubble25_fml 5

Wednesday 10 August 2011 22:07

don't know if I should trust u, your fml sounds a bit fishy...

Blue87 4

Wednesday 10 August 2011 22:07

ewww

Comments

Ncallday 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 7:05

wth?

theMangoW 6

Thursday 11 August 2011 7:34

She should smuggle it inside a cake: effective and delicious!

mooseluver4life 5

Thursday 11 August 2011 8:00

How did she even find that shit? Lol and what benefits does it have?

malefidus 2

Thursday 11 August 2011 8:02

Isn't it illegal to harvest coral?

grapist 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 8:18

U didn't notice a huge pile of shit or at least smell other shit besides yours?

JuLeeAna 2

Thursday 11 August 2011 9:13

Hey Grapist? #189? This has nothing to do with shit i think you got the wrong FML.... Duh. '-'

samicna 4

Thursday 11 August 2011 8:57

good auntie!

blackwidowtaco 31

Wednesday 28 August 2013 18:22

It was ops mom.

JuLeeAna 2

Thursday 11 August 2011 9:10

Hey Grapist? #189? This has nothing to do with shit i think you got the wrong FML.... Duh.

y33katelynballa 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 11:08

oral coral!

glungus 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 15:03

Corals are highly sensitive to environmental changes. Scientists have predicted over 50% of the world's coral reefs may be destroyed by 2030; as a result most nations protect them through environmental laws. I got this from wikipedia... And I don't think people would distroy coral just for dental hygiene........