Miscellaneous: Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her,...

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 436

You deserved it 43 509

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Same thing different taste

By SonofMnemosyne - 19/11/2018 07:30 - United States

Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 545

You deserved it 321

By clashgurl8449 - 17/02/2011 08:08

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 455

You deserved it 4 273

It's a set up!

By Anonymous - 10/02/2023 01:00 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 1 310

Gotta have it

By kp. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 997

You deserved it 59 212

Another resolution bites the dust

By Anonymous - 30/09/2024 00:00 - Germany - Seevetal

Today, I was extremely tired, so when I decided I wanted a snack, I went to the corner of the kitchen where the chocolate is, opened the garbage bin, and reached inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 334

By sofakingweetodit - 18/10/2010 12:44 - United States

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 793

You deserved it 35 344

By Anonymous - 09/12/2012 16:29 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 076

You deserved it 11 186

Bad liar

By pirotess31 - 31/07/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I brought a huge chocolate bar to work, left it in the break room, and came back to find it gone. Later, I saw a coworker with chocolate all over his face and fingers. I asked him if he took it, and he said, in almost offended tone, “What? No, that’s mine.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 335

Candy Andy

By bad karma - 21/11/2011 14:34 - United States

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 639

You deserved it 46 251

By Fatass - 18/04/2014 05:37 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 710

You deserved it 13 889

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:55

I think this is perfectly believable. I don't read shit before I eat it. xD Though I usually know what it is already... Anyway, I agree with #3. It was your fault, you should have read the box. Although I'm being a hypocrite.

ShadowSneaker360 16

Friday 17 January 2014 1:14

Wtf..

Comments

123sploosh 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 20:24

hahaahhahahhhhhhhhhhh

Crimso 0

Tuesday 7 July 2009 6:39

Today, my cousin stole my laxatives... i'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

Rach_star 0

Wednesday 21 October 2009 17:26

Lol, damn.. sucks for you. And Me too, #8!

Flutist 3

Tuesday 8 December 2009 13:01

Now that everyone has the potty jokes out... I think this will teach you not to steal from people. What if they had been a gift from her boyfriend or something? If they were, then her boyfriend knows how to win a lady. She gets chocolates, he gets to have clean anal sex.

MyDailyLife 1

Saturday 13 March 2010 22:25

thats what you get bad boy stealing some1s chocies >.

Gstone5 0

Sunday 21 March 2010 5:01

hehe karma :P

88sforlife 0

Saturday 12 June 2010 5:44

Possible But Not Believable

Mami_Gaby18 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 20:00

well thats what you get for taking things that dont belong to you i learned that the hard way... but on the good side you'll loose some weight while your at it ;)