Miscellaneous: Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the...

By Grossed_out - 05/03/2010 03:51 - United States

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 300

You deserved it 3 749

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/07/2013 04:41 - United States

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 209

You deserved it 3 374

Big Muff Fuzz

By Fartagirl - 15/10/2021 05:00

Today, I was using the restroom at school. What I thought was going to be just peeing turned into a humongous fart that echoed in the toilet bowl. Already embarrassed, I opened the door to leave. Two girls, who obviously heard, were giggling and saying, “It’s always the fat bitches.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 207

By Payte - 08/04/2011 05:31

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 642

You deserved it 44 328

Strange flex, but OK

By Jpah - 24/06/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 936

You deserved it 3 919

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 123

Symphony

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 509

You deserved it 5 210

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 103

Industrial logs

By wow - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 692

You deserved it 37 323

Office world is hell

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 14:01

Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 142

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 585

You deserved it 9 962

maskedman 9

Friday 5 March 2010 9:17

Do I hear wedding bells?

XDNurse 0

Friday 5 March 2010 9:18

isn't she precious.

Comments

perdix 29

Friday 5 March 2010 14:29

Was there corn? Did she just tease you by only giving you the length, or did she give you the complete report by adding turdal diameter? I hope she whipped out a protractor and described the end taper angle. Congratulate her if she had a flawless victory.

Domonator 16

Friday 5 March 2010 14:58

Flawless comment, Perdix

joeinthedark 18

Friday 5 March 2010 14:32

What's the problem here? I tend to agree with #39. She's not shy about things and that's not a bad thing. And maybe now you guys can compete to see how can have the biggest dump. It'll be a new type of bonding experience for you!

Compass 0

Friday 5 March 2010 14:34

This reminds me of the time I shat a brick (not literally, you retards that don't understand). Painful as **** and took forever. If I was gay, my gape would have helped. Might have felt good, too.

krivedko 0

Friday 5 March 2010 14:39

haha I dump THA-A-A-A-A-T MUCH! LOL

Hobo_stickfigure 0

Friday 5 March 2010 14:42

lol come on that's just plain funny. nobody these days looks on the funny side.

Sirin_fml 46

Friday 5 March 2010 14:45

Well, that's a little immature.

beepelati 5

Friday 5 March 2010 14:54

Ahahah, exactly what i thought. i actually do talk about my period sometimes, but defenitly NOT about poop.

Sirin_fml 46

Friday 5 March 2010 14:56

Do you have something more you want to say, Apfluxx?

Domonator 16

Friday 5 March 2010 15:08

I'm just pooped from having to listen to people dumping on me about the shape, size, consistency, and contents of their anal excretions. It's been a shitty day, so quit loafing around, sitting on your bar stools, and talking to me about this crap.