Love: Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed...

By anon - 21/06/2011 11:52 - United States

Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 852

You deserved it 7 278

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Same thing different taste

Couch action

By Mojo_Jojo - 13/06/2009 11:01 - China

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 041

You deserved it 6 710

By Mojo - 14/12/2009 17:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 578

You deserved it 5 195

Love is…

By manderz? - 03/08/2016 00:18 - United States - Beach Haven

Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 509

You deserved it 1 122

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 20:08 - United States - Clarksville

Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 356

You deserved it 3 008

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 384

You deserved it 3 270

By jswag2004 - 11/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Elgin

Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 905

You deserved it 385

Slobber

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 297

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 866

You deserved it 4 436

By ug - 08/07/2009 20:51 - Canada

Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 761

You deserved it 4 549

Creeped out of here

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 05:25 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 021

You deserved it 1 974

Blueglasscup 18

Tuesday 21 June 2011 15:45

At least you went on a date with your crush!

hook_em 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 15:50

just one question. how do you know what a dying slug feels like on your lips? do you eat them things or something?

Comments

BryBabyyy 4

Sunday 31 July 2011 0:57

Ew I've kissed guys like that it's so nasty I'm sorry hun :/

kitsune3 20

Monday 1 August 2011 23:13

oh, boohoo. This is FAR from being the worst thing that could have happened to you. Grow up.

whosurdaddy123 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 11:25

Just tell him and teach him how to kiss, he'll understand....... hopefully

tracylynn2014 0

Monday 9 January 2012 1:21

Dude, be glad he went out with you.

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 8 May 2012 0:47

Let me guess, sloppy and lazy? Yum!

writergirl23 19

Tuesday 28 August 2012 23:37

Hey he did kiss you!

FYLTHOUGH 15

Wednesday 13 November 2013 1:27

Why would it make you think that though?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I'm working in hospitality. I was serving a customer when another customer came up to cash in from the pokies. I told them I'd be there in a minute, and they said OK. By the time I got to them, they were complaining to my boss. Guess whose side was taken? FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 83

Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 394

You deserved it 5 452

Today, in a nightclub packed with people, I enthusiastically went in for a handshake with someone but they went for a fist bump. We both ended up doing the awkward “Pull back and retry” dance for a solid five seconds. I think I just lost all credibility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 170

Today, before having morning sex, my girlfriend for over a year whispers to me "Do that thing you did at the Halloween party". There was no morning sex as I reminded her that I was sick with the flu then and didn't go with her to the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 171

You deserved it 2 828

Today, I was practicing the piano. My brother told me that if I loved him, I would stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 171

You deserved it 1 612

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 095

You deserved it 3 970