Health Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

CaoiiBieber - 17/07/2011 19:15 - Ireland

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Hangry dude

Anonymous - 07/08/2021 20:01

Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML

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Nick - 11/02/2010 18:35 - United States

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

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8sq - 11/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

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Anonymous - 04/03/2016 16:47 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML

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Crunchy

Anonymous - 26/04/2025 22:00 - United States - Benson

Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML

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Introvert struggles

knife knife - - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML

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M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

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Anonymous - 22/05/2019 00:01

Today, a fork hit me in the eye. I was holding it. I didn't even get to eat my chicken. FML

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lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

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Anonymous - 11/07/2013 17:08 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

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JayBear14 11

Monday 18 July 2011 0:25

how does that work?

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

Monday 18 July 2011 0:58

i had trouble clicking this...

green_eggs_and_h 0

Monday 18 July 2011 1:18

What an unforkunate event.

nixter5 18

Monday 18 July 2011 5:26

So punny!!

punjabi44 0

Monday 18 July 2011 1:25

this might be the stupidest fml i've seen

perdix 29

Monday 18 July 2011 1:26

Now you'll be ready if you meet a guy who has a dick with tines.

green_eggs_and_h 0

Monday 18 July 2011 2:30

It is always good to be prepared. Which is why I practice deep throating sea urchins!

eminem123x 0

Monday 18 July 2011 1:29

that's not a good way to practice

urfavbitch 3

Monday 18 July 2011 1:44

wow.... u know dicks wont stab u like a fork right? so go put down the silverware n make some guy really happy lol

mikechek 3

Monday 18 July 2011 1:51

I believe that is called a forksome

jlp549 5

Monday 18 July 2011 1:56

That's pretty forked up.

latinjukes 2

Monday 18 July 2011 1:56

I'm sure that's not all you've deep-throated.

Rachel8869 0

Monday 18 July 2011 1:57

Wow id like to know how that works pls

indiangee 0

Monday 18 July 2011 2:20

I love how this is worded! And practice makes perfect, right?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML

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Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

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Today, the smoke detector in my bedroom malfunctioned and started going off while my cat was asleep on my shoulder. He panicked and deeply lacerated my nose with his claw as he ran off. Blood got everywhere, and to add insult to injury the unit has no removable battery and wouldn't turn off. FML

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Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML

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Today, after my husband said he forgot our anniversary 2 days ago because he was so focused on planning for today, he forgot what was so important about today. It's my birthday. FML

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Today, I went to a pain specialist to get help with my chronic pain. He did not diagnose anything or discuss causes. He then said, "Good luck with that" as I left. Of course, I still got billed. FML

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