Today, my boyfriend took me to his place to meet his parents. When they saw me, they laughed. FML
Today, the magic of witnessing a sheep giving birth was ruined for me when I slipped and fell in the puddle of birth fluids. FML
Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML
Today, my sister called me and asked if my boyfriend of 3 years had proposed to me yet. And now the surprise is ruined. FML
Today, at 5:30 a.m., my wife woke me to order milk for our business because she forgot to do so last night. She then chewed me out for doing it there and then, waking her up. I'm apparently useless, always complaining and in a bad mood about the most mundane things. What? FML
Today, after planning 4 months in advance and spending almost $600 to cover everyone's tickets to the event center, all of my siblings decided to bail on my 30th birthday celebration because driving 3 hours is too much. FML
Today, a guy I'd been seeing briefly came over for cocktails and a movie. The night ended with him vomiting in my bathroom and on my couch, using my toothbrush, then proceeding to tell me how big his ex-boyfriend's dick was. FML
Maybe they were relieved he brought home a real girl instead of an imaginary one...
Wow, what assholes