Animals: Ouch

Ouch

By Teylot - 28/06/2009 21:30 - Canada

Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 019

You deserved it 13 614

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 245

By crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 638

You deserved it 5 852

The gift

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 177

By cereal stepper - 23/10/2016 09:42

Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 707

You deserved it 5 562

Wake up Boo

By Megan Snair - 01/09/2019 04:01

Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 209

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 577

Rescue cat

By crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 434

You deserved it 843

Stomach bug?

By Heather Scurfield - 21/03/2021 10:59

Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 143

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 07/10/2016 20:22 - Switzerland

Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 987

You deserved it 1 177

Great start

By Harriett - 20/11/2025 15:00

Today, I made myself a perfect latte and sat down at my desk, feeling pretty good about my day so far. My cat then jumped on the desk, slipped, and kicked my mug directly into my keyboard. The cat looked me confused while coffee seeped into my laptop. It was only 9:02 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 113

junkinmahcranium 0

Monday 29 June 2009 9:31

Be gentle with cats. You piss em off, you suffer. It's a way of life.

umbilicalbiotch 0

Monday 29 June 2009 9:58

Im sorry for your loss. Every bowl counts

Comments

stillbroken 5

Tuesday 4 October 2011 2:45

The way you worded that... brilliant. I laughed.

crazycrystal 4

Thursday 15 December 2011 22:23

I hate cats digs r better !

alexicanaaa 7

Monday 6 February 2012 3:36

Cats. Absolute butts.

mizzy1 0

Saturday 25 February 2012 14:45

That is exactly why I am a dog person my puppy would love it if that happened to him lol get well soon!

sigrak0 10

Monday 23 July 2012 1:43

We don't really care how they heal up, YDI.

mirthfulMessiahs 21

Wednesday 13 February 2013 20:09

Must have been some serious injuries if he hasn't come back to say he's healed up, almost four years later.

nick3600 22

Sunday 24 November 2013 17:55

How does that happen

m4green 3

Wednesday 15 January 2014 21:17

CATS. ARE. DICKS

people_annoy_me 23

Wednesday 28 May 2014 22:44

THIS is why I'm never getting a cat

ilikebeingchoked 5

Saturday 31 May 2014 11:54

..this is too fricken hilarious

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Today, my husband and his best mate got drunk and decided it would be a good idea to try hitchhike naked for a joke. Although no one was willing to pick up two naked 28 year old-men off the side of the main road, someone did call the cops. They are being held overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 191

You deserved it 1 854

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time in years. Almost immediately, I realized that my shorts were no match for the forces of gravity. I spent the rest of the ride clinging to my seat for dear life while trying to subtly cover my exposed ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 630

Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 632

You deserved it 966

Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 154

You deserved it 33 666

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 571

You deserved it 68 137

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 743

You deserved it 8 145

Same thing different taste

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