Health Not now, Kelsey

Not now, Kelsey

Amy - 01/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

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Noise machine

achtung - 01/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

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Freakout

Anonymous - 20/03/2015 16:56 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

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Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

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Volcanic

poopshooter101 - 30/06/2009 11:53 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong, she said that I'd "killed her nose." FML

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not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

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Anon - 11/09/2016 07:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML

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Last splash

sicktomystomach - - United States

Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML

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Check her out

minnie - 28/08/2009 18:30 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

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Drugs are bad, mkay ?

theshitguy - 15/06/2021 08:01 - Australia - Kedron

Today, I was at a party. A friend and I went to the bathroom together. She finished, I started to go, realising I need to shit. She was still in the room. People began to knock. My brain told me to snap the shit in half… with my hand. I grabbed the toilet paper with said hand, leaving the bathroom covered in shit. FML

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theuglyone906 4

Friday 1 April 2011 6:48

A hailstorm of bullets??? What the **** is that kid eating???

ptxace 0

Friday 1 April 2011 6:40

That's ****** nasty.

YourMotherWasHer_fml 0

Friday 8 April 2011 2:59

Mmmm , Looks like somebody had a good lunch(:

MmToasty 0

Monday 11 April 2011 4:27

Oh my goodness, I laughed so hard I started crying.

CorinnaHEY 6

Wednesday 13 April 2011 0:50

LMFAO I had to lay down and laugh

sworntothedark 2

Thursday 14 April 2011 18:17

Hailstorm of bullets!!!!!!! Cant stop laughing XD Very descriptive...

yosna1324 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 0:09

lmfao this is hilarious

stubblez 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 13:02

Ma'am, I feel for you, but this... *puts on sunglasses* ...is FUNNY AS SHIT.

FAYUL12345100 3

Monday 16 May 2011 1:56

I feel sorry for you, but seriously, it's a public restroom. You can't expect everybody to abstain from crapping, no matter how violently, until you are done.