Awkward, Parents Animals No place like home - FML

No place like home

MrMagicMan000 - 25/08/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air, and thought to myself, "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year-old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

ahhhhhh - 12/02/2015 17:23 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

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lol smiley face - 28/11/2009 15:57 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

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tireedddddd - 25/11/2011 16:24 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

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Anonymous - 06/11/2010 04:31 - United States

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

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Dangleberries

myeyesburn - 28/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got up from bed after a good night's sleep, and walked outside. The first thing I saw was my 60-ish year-old neighbor bent over, picking up a newspaper. He was wearing nothing but a way too short bathrobe and a pair of rubber boots. FML

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Anon - 10/05/2009 12:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up really early before my mom so I could make pancakes for Mother's Day. I placed everything on a tray and even picked a flower, had a card for her and took it to her bedroom. She said, "You shouldn't have, pancakes are fattening." She took one bite and fed the rest to the dogs. FML

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tommy3824 - 20/08/2009 12:45 - United States

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

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Wally - 08/05/2009 15:20 - Canada

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

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PeepShow - 06/08/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

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Leave me alone

TordNorski - - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5 a.m., my mom loudly knocked and came in. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML

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GigglesNpie 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 16:09

dude, thats gross...

danielrp34 7

Tuesday 25 August 2009 16:12

Some people find their grandpa..

mikcand 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 1:12

DAYUM i feel bad for u dude

zoolander951 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 3:40

this is a lot like a that 70s show episode. Just a little twisted. But if it did happen, that sucks.

crzygrl90218 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 6:17

Zomg I am soo sorry

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Thursday 27 August 2009 20:14

I just about threw up when I read this. FYL.

nodbor 11

Friday 28 August 2009 9:46

and tonight it's BUTTered popcorn.

Applesnbananas45 0

Friday 28 August 2009 19:39

YDI for living with ur mother

joyyu22 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 16:54

what are you doing still living with your mum? shes 58...

FreakOnaLeash 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 0:12

LMFAO,I nearly died laughing!!!!!!!! Also,when I read "in the nude" I thought of Sandy's voice from Spongebob,which made it even funnier

FMLdaileygirl 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 23:24

that is some way to start the day!

doggie3 0

Wednesday 21 October 2009 2:25

I love it when people say "in the nude" it's so funny.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

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Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

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Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML

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Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

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Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML

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Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML

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