Ninjas are everywhere By Nancy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone had cut off half of my ponytail. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 641 You deserved it 4 599 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML I agree, your life sucks 712 You deserved it 498
Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 796 You deserved it 2 870
Today, I got fired for being late. Apparently you're supposed to be on time after your boss specifically tells you that the office will open an hour late. FML I agree, your life sucks 19 439 You deserved it 1 866
Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 718 You deserved it 9 839
Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 247 You deserved it 3 293
Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 135 You deserved it 3 226
Today, I was playing Ultimate Frisbee and trying to make new friends since I'm new at my college. I was running after an overthrown frisbee for a touchdown. Everyone cheered me on to keep going. I ran full speed into a fence. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 894 You deserved it 9 080
Today, my ex-girlfriend told me that she can't live without me, but she has another boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 251 You deserved it 4 139
I find it funnier that no one else noticed or said something...friends much?
hahaha find out who that was and have retribution!