Health My home hates me

My home hates me

Anonymous - 24/07/2015 02:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Hazardous

Anonymous - 28/09/2016 13:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML

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Baked

Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML

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Shocking!

Toasted - 29/04/2019 20:00

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

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thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

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klutz - 25/08/2010 04:14 - Canada

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

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thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

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Thanks Mom

Anonymous - 08/12/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I don't know which is worse: my brother cramming all his sauce bottles into a fridge door shelf that exploded onto the floor when I opened the fridge, or my mother being mad at me because I was upset about slicing open my finger while cleaning up the broken glass and my hand now burns. FML

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Loser - 17/03/2010 04:41 - Canada

Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML

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Accidents will happen

Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

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You're grounded!

Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

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cat4651 15

Friday 24 July 2015 16:09

Go back to bed for the rest of the day, it is clearly not your day today!

JMichael 25

Friday 24 July 2015 16:10

You're just not having a very good day are you? You have my sympathy

Liyuesigs 8

Friday 24 July 2015 16:20

Definitely the shame, IMO.

derekroig 13

Friday 24 July 2015 16:21

#prayforop

saymynamess 19

Friday 24 July 2015 16:22

Did you do something bad recently? Check yourself.

Sammy_rawrr 13

Friday 24 July 2015 16:24

*hugs*

ZoroMiHawk 25

Friday 24 July 2015 16:29

OP are you still alive?

apineapple 40

Friday 24 July 2015 16:31

On today's episode of I Shouldn't be Alive...

Ihavegas 22

Friday 24 July 2015 16:31

would you like a job as a crash test dummy?

ninjahesten 18

Friday 24 July 2015 16:33

No stepping on Any lego's??

crazygirl2014 8

Friday 24 July 2015 16:33

CAUTION: DO NOT GET ON PHONE. SOMETHING BAD COULD EASILY BE ACCIDENTALLY POSTED.

wordygirl 11

Friday 24 July 2015 16:44

I hate those days that are out to get you! Look on the bright side op, you didn't lose any blood and never landed in the emergency room. My advice is not to push the envelope... go to bed and watch a movie if you can.