Intimacy Monday morning blues

Monday morning blues

desperate905 - - Netherlands

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

ryanisexy 5

Tuesday 21 February 2012 11:59

I go to bed half an hour later.

Pentium_4 27

Tuesday 21 February 2012 12:01

before bed is much nicer. helps you sleep...

AzWolf 5

Wednesday 22 February 2012 3:20

You wank for 30 minutes? Damn!

tehdarkness 21

Wednesday 22 February 2012 3:37

I think that's smart! I'm usually late for work..

rdrr 2

Wednesday 22 February 2012 3:50

Ok... Learn to speed up that process! A half an hour??? What are you a **** star?

falcons10luv 0

Wednesday 22 February 2012 4:31

Haha wow sorry that blows...well not u apperntly!

kmenn8 2

Wednesday 22 February 2012 4:41

Shoot... I do this all the time. And I get laid everyday. No shame.

butterz69 0

Wednesday 22 February 2012 4:48

For ever alone

k327684 0

Wednesday 22 February 2012 5:40

Lol that's what I was thinking.

dansco 24

Wednesday 22 February 2012 5:21

What a w@nker! Hey your just so full of chemicals! They seem to be clouding your judgement, why post such a thing?!

yeahreally 6

Wednesday 22 February 2012 5:32

you say horny and single, ill just say you have priorities. ahahaha

rosymomo 1

Wednesday 22 February 2012 5:56

Well Pentium_4 I don't see why ur single, u look very attractive to me

deadman93 8

Wednesday 22 February 2012 6:00

heres a solution everybody: shut the **** up about weather proper or improper spelling is ok on the internet. who the **** cares?

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was haunted by the knowledge that my father watched me slit my wrists without doing a damn thing or batting an eyelid, but when I took the steak knife to the breadboard to release my tension, he was so upset, he took the dog, drove to the east coast, and spent the night in the car. FML

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Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

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Today, after 5 and a half years, my boyfriend had spent months talking about proposing before the end of the year. He'd picked out a ring, told all his friends, and couldn't stop talking about our future. He then dumped me over the phone out of the blue. FML

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Today, I was trying to take a sneaky picture of the cute guy sitting across from me on the train. My phone’s flash went off. I panicked, dropped my phone, and then had to awkwardly stand up to retrieve it while he just stared at me, clearly aware of what had happened. FML

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Today, my state began relaxing the quarantine order. We decided to take the kids for a nice picnic in the park to get them outside. First park we went to, we saw a homeless man openly pissing in the parking lot. Second park, we saw two teens fucking on the table. Day was officially ruined. FML

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Today, I got an e-mail at work about payroll cuts. After our annual cost of living raise two weeks ago, I make $0.30 more per hour, but with my hours getting cut, I'll make $80 less per paycheck. That's two weeks of groceries. I can't afford my vacation next week now either. FML.

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