Me at lunchtime By Lewis - 12/12/2018 00:30 Why have I to be polite? I agree, your life sucks 266 You deserved it 64 Share Tweet Share
Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML I agree, your life sucks 53 177 You deserved it 8 088
Today, I took a picture of my knob on my girlfriend's cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 028 You deserved it 41 550
Today, I was reading in my bed, and my cat was lying on my chest. I noticed something white on my cat's leg. I'm far-sighted and wasn't wearing my glasses, so I didn't see what it was. I touched it and put on my glasses. Turns out it was a worm hanging out of my cat's anus. It started wiggling. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 413 You deserved it 6 049
Today, my teenage daughter insisted it was my job to take down the tray full of empty dishes, because I was the one who had carried it upstairs. Sound logic, so far. Why had I carried the tray upstairs? To serve her breakfast in bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 619 You deserved it 841
Today, my stepmother ruined my wedding by trying to get me to cover my tattoos with makeup. She spilled makeup on my dress, delayed the limo, talked through the ceremony about my tattoos looking horrible, and tried to cancel our photographer so there’d by no official photos of my horrible tattoos. FML I agree, your life sucks 973 You deserved it 191
Today, my son is refusing to find a girlfriend because, as he puts it, “Them woke bitches just want my money.” He lives alone, has a good job and lots of friends, but he never asks anyone out, and when women ask him out, he practically hisses at them like a feral cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 215 You deserved it 607