Break-ups Love It's for the best - FML

It's for the best

yesguysgetabusedtoo - 24/05/2013 23:42 - New Zealand - Papamoa

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 16/01/2016 05:04 - United States - Placentia

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML

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Autocorrected - 04/03/2012 05:02 - Philippines

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

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schwange - 15/05/2010 17:07 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML

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NowImSingle - 12/02/2018 19:00

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML

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dharp7 - 16/11/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

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Double dump

dumped - 10/03/2011 21:42 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

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Check yourself before you wreck yourself

Anonymous - 12/04/2021 02:00

Today, I dumped my girlfriend because she frequently wouldn't answer my texts or phone calls, and not call or message back for days. I felt that bringing it up made me a control freak. I couldn't take it anymore. FML

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anonymous - 01/10/2013 05:36 - United States - Huntington

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

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Anonymous - 09/11/2014 08:37 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

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Not much better

Anonymous - 18/08/2009 05:06 - Kazakhstan

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend in which she broke up with me. I was upset, but one minute later another text from her said, "Sorry, wrong person." FML

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grahambertus 11

Saturday 25 May 2013 5:40

Well it looks like life might get better without her.

JustAReaderZZZZ 10

Saturday 25 May 2013 5:41

Why did you choose to stay with her if you were always "viciously insulted"?

cinnamondemon 8

Saturday 25 May 2013 17:36

YDI for being with a girl who viciously insults you.

chosha_fml 26

Saturday 25 May 2013 19:03

Yes you can. Feel very happy.

shinymaster3000 23

Saturday 25 May 2013 20:22

Don't worry you'll be happy soon

Soloman212 28

Saturday 25 May 2013 20:38

Not to insult my own kind, but why specify that the baboon metaphorically taking a shit on her keypad is illiterate?

Raykyogrou03 12

Saturday 25 May 2013 21:43

Are there perhaps any literate baboons that we have no knowledge of?

D3ATHZ3RO 15

Saturday 25 May 2013 22:06

How is this an FML?

Likian5 26

Sunday 26 May 2013 0:44

If she annoyed you that much, why aren't you happy that it's over?

SayThatDoe 3

Sunday 26 May 2013 1:50

Well Damn Aha

MythsNLegends 10

Sunday 26 May 2013 1:53

You just received an upgrade on life by someone who is literate enough to free you from your recent baboon infestation. Congrats!!

r0dents 9

Sunday 26 May 2013 6:56

Sounds like she didn't deserve you, anyway.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was screamed at for not doing the dishes because I was exhausted. Last year, when my arm was broken, I did all my chores without complaint. I don’t know how to explain to my parents that I’d much, much rather work with a broken arm than while tired. FML

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Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

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Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "Bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

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Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML

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Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML

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Today, thanks to my new anti-anxiety meds, I am finally no longer agoraphobic. Today also marks 5 weeks of constant diarrhea due to the same meds. Guess who's not leaving the house anytime soon. FML

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