Miscellaneous: Improvised

Improvised

By Geraldine - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, it's been three days since my husband got into free-jazz. He plays all the time in our small apartment. Loud. It's like listening to three guys build a shed for 10 giant angry wasps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 707

You deserved it 2 853

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Same thing different taste

Make it stop

By ThatLove - 01/08/2023 18:00

Today, my next door neighbor took up playing the flute as a new hobby. Unfortunately, he's very enthusiastic about actually practising it. It's been 3 hours and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 96

By sleeplessinrichmond - 15/09/2013 06:02 - United States - Bronx

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 809

You deserved it 2 959

The sensual sounds of Derek Bailey

By Anonymous - 22/05/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to try jazz music on YouTube. I’d only listened to a few songs when my dad came running in with a baseball bat, demanding to know where “he” was hiding. Apparently, everybody knows jazz is “sex music” so he thought I had a man in my room. I’m 24, I could have men in my room if I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 141

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 15:27 - United States - Iola

Today, a week after moving into my new house, I'm seriously considering suing the previous occupant. He failed to mention how the neighbor has his own band and rehearses every other day until 2am. Their music is so bad, it sounds like the wailing of a cat being tortured to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 346

You deserved it 5 506

Keep it down

By Help - 26/11/2011 06:03 - United States

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 769

You deserved it 2 511

By noname - 29/12/2008 06:09 - France

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 101

You deserved it 3 227

Asshats everywhere

By 404 justice not found - 21/04/2016 19:15 - United States - Whitehall

Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops, and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 334

You deserved it 1 570

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 163

By PissedbythePiper - 11/09/2012 06:11 - United States - Saukville

Today, after my annoying neighbor who used to spend hours playing the cello in the apartment below me finally moved out, I found out that I have a new musical neighbor moving in. This fellow plays the bagpipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 361

You deserved it 2 915

By Pete - 07/08/2018 13:00

Today, it's the third day I've been at home recuperating from ear surgery. My surgery was on the same day my neighbor started renovating. There's been hours of jack-hammering every day I've been home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 697

You deserved it 146

iam_yummylicious 12

Wednesday 30 November 2011 8:35

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz? Just shove the saxophone up his ass. He'll be quiet then.

stuth186 7

Wednesday 30 November 2011 8:53

Personally if I had a saxophone up my ass I'd be anything but quiet

Comments

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 30 November 2011 10:05

Play along using your body as an instrument...Particularly, your ring piece...OP: "Check out this lick, baby!" (& chuffs one right in his face!)

JukeboxValkyrie 19

Wednesday 30 November 2011 10:34

OP should start blasting Megadeth and other various heavy music.

Michael_92 20

Wednesday 30 November 2011 10:50

Well you could just ask him to stop...hows he to know it bothers you??

TheDog6 24

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:30

Jazz is the best music ever created.

IdfkMyUsernamexC 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:55

No need to explain, but I feel you on that one. You should really be blunt and tell him to go take his noise somewhere else Or things could end up nasty. (Not really.. Lol)

Driveshaft 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 13:02

Wow! He sounds great!!!

BrotherTheo 31

Wednesday 30 November 2011 14:12

Talk About It. Really, Is this so difficult?

perdix 29

Wednesday 30 November 2011 14:18

There ain't no such thing as free jazz -- it's costing you your sanity. Why would they build a shed for White Anglo-Saxon Protestants?

jobsman99 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 14:54

When I was in school we used to say "play two notes wrong it's a mistake. Play 3 or more and it's free-jazz". We had too many jazz majors. I feel your pain.