Stalker, Paranoia and Miscellaneous: I spy…

I spy…

By boyfriend123 - 31/07/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 a.m. because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 793

You deserved it 3 494

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Random Next FML

Same thing different taste

Shame on you!

By Bjax - 11/10/2017 16:00

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 790

You deserved it 399

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 762

You deserved it 26 552

By Anonymous - 03/06/2013 20:55 - France - M?rignac

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 399

You deserved it 5 606

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 748

You deserved it 887

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 779

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 999

You deserved it 108 997

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 21:29 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 972

You deserved it 3 572

Keep the peace

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 10:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 175

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 613

You deserved it 4 554

Self own + Karma

By Anonymous - 07/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 885

Ladiesman247 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 15:45

Oscar the Grouch? :3

jsgunner420 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 15:44

Maybe it WAS watching her!

Comments

FAYUL12345100 3

Thursday 18 August 2011 19:13

Pedobear was in the trash can.

guilder16 8

Thursday 18 August 2011 19:31

Close the curtains next time?

datoismyname 22

Thursday 18 August 2011 20:05

Sucks to be you!

CertifiedCreeper 2

Thursday 18 August 2011 20:09

That was me, sorry

yellowboy30 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 20:17

Dump her

GraceKathryn97 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 20:24

Hey don't make fun of her, trash cans are scary! ;)

dtemple1110 6

Thursday 18 August 2011 20:40

BFD. It's not like you're not gonna get more sleep the next night.

Barrage0331 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 20:43

Now that's some funny shit!!

NinjaNay 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 21:40

Hahahaha wow...

ken12317 7

Thursday 18 August 2011 21:44

ha ha ha stupid moment

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Clothes Friends Birthday Money Awkward Technology Embarrassing Weird Parents Pregnancy Kids Grandparents Parenting Work Animals Family Intimacy AITA Health Doctor Painful Transportation Moving home Vacation LGBTQIA+ Love Religion Annoying

The Top

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 188

You deserved it 6 860

Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 471

You deserved it 5 009

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 575

You deserved it 121 515

Today, I located my birth dad and asked him why I was put into care. Turns out my mom died, and since he hadn’t wanted me in the first place, he just gave me away and hoped to never see me again. He didn’t even invite me in, he threw a beer at me and threatened to call the cops unless I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 544

You deserved it 239

Today, both my mom and dad agreed I basically ruined their life by existing. They weren’t even trying to be mean, they just casually mentioned that their lives were brilliant before me, then after I was born everything turned to shit and they’ve been miserable ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 135

Today, my boss showed me how he wants his office redecorating. We have employees on minimum wage and yet he wants a private bathroom, large screen TV, sofa and PlayStation, and a decorative suit of armour, all in an office that’s already bigger than my one bedroom flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 104