Intimacy Hot and… greasy

Hot and… greasy

cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

29 681

6 230

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

18 266

32 767

ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

41 275

5 696

And they say romance is dead…

BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

28 049

7 738

Kinky

Anonymous - 11/08/2022 22:00

Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML

1 237

543

fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

27 271

8 038

confused - 28/09/2011 04:55 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

31 241

8 736

Dad jokes

phoenix101 - 16/05/2011 05:40

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

24 030

67 245

JK - 01/02/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

30 979

4 736

That kidnapped kink

georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

40 853

6 113

sissydlk - 02/12/2010 15:54 - United States

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

40 310

10 386

XtraEzeee 8

Friday 20 July 2012 1:17

Of course he's serious. Bacon is no laughing matter.

mike14991499 9

Friday 20 July 2012 1:16

You can't ruin sex with bacon, right?

Darklord6980 5

Sunday 29 July 2012 16:47

Epicmealtime bacon lube :)

jroxursox1 10

Tuesday 31 July 2012 3:53

Rub some bacon on it?? YouTube video (x

killercrow 4

Tuesday 31 July 2012 14:19

Who doesn't love a bit of bacon here and there ;)

mr_montoya254 3

Thursday 9 August 2012 17:35

Bacon makes everything better

kjklopu 1

Tuesday 21 August 2012 23:45

Marry that man

iCake 13

Wednesday 29 August 2012 10:20

So bacon like

allisadawn91 8

Sunday 30 September 2012 1:33

Actually...adding bacon is super sexy! And tastes so freaking good!

hotmamma55 0

Friday 5 October 2012 7:29

when people say they want to "spice up their sex life" they should really clarify as to what they mean by that i am just saying.

hotmamma55 0

Friday 5 October 2012 7:30

plus, you really can't get mad at the guy. at least he is taking your suggestion into consideration.

jasperito_reyes 6

Friday 14 December 2012 1:51

That sounds awesome ( I'm a girl)

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

40 512

5 429

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

32 024

12 635

Today, the place where I’m living is so small that after changing my shower curtain, I felt like I’d changed my whole apartment’s decoration. FML

599

Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

38 678

4 959

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML

37 398

4 427

Today, I had a stomach bug, but despite it I swallowed a mouthful of habanero sauce on a dare. I ended up projectile vomiting on a wall outside, lost my sense of balance and fell over on the sidewalk, almost blacked out from the tightness in my chest, and had to refuse an ambulance that somebody had called. All for $5. FML

137

1 308