Parenting, Dad jokes Work Great joke Dad, thanks - FML

Great joke Dad, thanks

Anonymous - 05/07/2014 17:53 - United States

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

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Anonymous - 06/08/2020 20:00

Today, the phone rang, it was some woman who wanted to speak to my dad. “It’s probably his mistress,” I said jokingly. Turns out it was. FML

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Thanks mom

unemployed - 24/08/2012 18:00 - United States - Alhambra

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

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CmS_1733 - 11/02/2016 18:59 - United States - Pottsville

Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML

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Lisa - 02/01/2010 07:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

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There's a time and a place

Hanna - 03/04/2011 17:55 - United States

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

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Not on the weekend

jtaylor94 - - Canada

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

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Sex work is work

Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

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Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

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Nope out of there

twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

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Anonymous - 05/03/2016 05:57 - United States - Hudsonville

Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML

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Mercyfulsin 7

Saturday 5 July 2014 22:51

I'd suggest putting the phone on silent next time you go for a job interview!

HotBox69 4

Saturday 5 July 2014 22:51

Haha, that's ******* hilarious

ryanator008 23

Sunday 6 July 2014 5:56

You shouldn't have answered it!

frenchiegirl1 6

Sunday 6 July 2014 6:04

You bombed the interview if you even considered checking your phone during it.

Sparx1_1 16

Sunday 6 July 2014 6:23

YDI Always turn your phone off during a job interview. If it does ring, NEVER answer it no matter what. If you answer it guarantees you will not get the job.

nikitol 8

Sunday 6 July 2014 6:29

Parents. Embarrassing kids since they were born and beyond.

depressingrage 5

Sunday 6 July 2014 6:41

At least you know you're not adopted.

lina21 12

Sunday 6 July 2014 6:48

Why didn't you have your phone off/on silent OP? Or is it safe to assume he left a voicemail that you really got after?

Cubobles 7

Sunday 6 July 2014 7:10

Har he har nice dad

imbatmanfir 15

Sunday 6 July 2014 7:15

Why did you even answer?

JaneEffinLane 7

Sunday 6 July 2014 7:37

Who answers their phone in an interview? Very unprofessional, I would not hire you.

SeeYouAndTea 4

Sunday 6 July 2014 10:14

What if the interviewer was his mom.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was fired. My boss told me via email that it was because I "don't have enough experience with fun spiritual." Uh, what? FML

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Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

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Today, I checked Facebook, only to find out that my close cousin is now married. When I looked at the pictures, I saw that my whole family was there - including my sister, mother and father. I was the only one who wasn't invited. FML

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Today, I was trying on wedding dresses and didn't realise I had started my period. I managed to ruin 6 dresses before I noticed. The company wants me to pay for them. I can't afford it. FML

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Today, my future mother-in-law tried to blackmail me out of the wedding with photographs of me with another man. Her son and I met on a swingers website and we both have multiple sexual partners, so we had to tell her the truth. Awkward doesn’t begin to describe it. FML

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Today, I made a joke about having a wedding to my mom and she told me not to joke about something that will probably never happen. FML

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