Alcohol, Drunk and Work: Drunken antics

Drunken antics

By Stilljobless - 19/01/2010 11:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 089

You deserved it 39 658

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Same thing different taste

Probably not

By stupid voicemails - 28/04/2013 09:09 - United States - Lahaina

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 017

You deserved it 55 264

By Mr IT - 24/11/2009 01:47 - Sweden

Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 760

You deserved it 43 193

By still broke and jobless - 17/09/2015 20:24 - United States

Today, I saw a missed call on my phone. Thinking it was one of the multiple jobs I applied for, I called back. Turns out it was just a debt collector. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 881

You deserved it 2 565

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 135

By Anonymous - 06/10/2016 19:01 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, while checking my voicemail, I noticed I had received one from a job that I've been trying to get in for months. Too bad they called two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 937

You deserved it 8 834

Phones, how do they work?!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, a voicemail suddenly appeared in my messages. Last week I missed a call from an Unknown caller, and no number was listed. Turns out they wanted to arrange an interview for a job I really wanted. They left a number in the voicemail, telling me to call them back that day if I was interested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 036

You deserved it 435

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 16:45 - United States - Lititz

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 711

You deserved it 1 947

Aced it

By Kanata - 31/08/2019 02:05

Today, my phone cut out during a call for a job interview. I tried calling them back, but there was no answer. Later, I got an email from the interviewer, saying I was no longer being considered for the position due to my being "rude and unprofessional." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 898

You deserved it 166

What she said

By Anonymous - 05/03/2022 10:00

Today, I unknowingly left a five minute-long voicemail on my boss’s phone, at 3 a.m., while out drinking with friends. I have no idea what we were talking about at that time, but I know I don’t want my boss to have a candid recording of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 547

By xoccerplaya - 06/10/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 546

You deserved it 11 332

macfarley 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 2:14

....who's real name is Rick, 'cause she has a dick. Congratulations you've hired a tranny

flawedgenius 6

Tuesday 19 January 2010 16:14

there was a young girl called fanny who wanted a job as a nanny (3 more lines to this limerick) Close?

Comments

racefan234 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 9:13

I KNOW WHAT IT SAID!!! roses are red, violets are blue, i will **** you with a rake

TheShard1994 5

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:59

Roses are red, violets are blue, rakes aren't funny, and neither are you.

stormin972 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 0:51

Tell them it was the wrong number.

sonosaeterno 2

Saturday 23 January 2010 10:01

In this case, YDI should stand for "you dumb idiot".

iBiteRoses 22

Friday 6 January 2012 1:47

me no here, me go bye, you leave message me reply if leave good message me reply fast if me no like u then kiss my @$$ ...was that it?

Camille12_fml 1

Wednesday 21 November 2012 20:49

Wow :)

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 348

Today, my husband rushed me to the hospital, and we were told that I'd had a miscarriage. Neither of us knew I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 89

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 116

You deserved it 6 478

Today, it's my first day off in over two months. My colleagues disagree - they won't stop calling me. I'm not allowed to turn my phone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 617

You deserved it 180

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 784

You deserved it 2 104

Today, I left my empty shower running so I could pretend I didn't still live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 705

You deserved it 29 988