Sex, Awkward, Seduction Love Come to bed eyes

Come to bed eyes

marshmallowssss - - United States

Today, I just finished having dinner with my boyfriend, so I leaned over to him and said seductively, "How about some dessert?" Obviously, he didn't catch my tone, because he then looked at me and said, "Babe, you really don't need it." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

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Clementine - 27/11/2012 11:36 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

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Awful line of inquiry

teddyissmall - 14/04/2014 06:29 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

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Yummy

Cupcakes - 15/04/2013 05:11 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

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Smooth talker

Kate - 07/03/2009 18:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

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Say it

Her - 06/11/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years took me out to breakfast. We were eating and he kept on staring at me like he was thinking of something really important. I thought he was going to say, "I love you". So I told him to, "say it already." Turns out he was thinking of a way to dump me. FML

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Andrew - 12/10/2011 01:11 - United States

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

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sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

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Noname - 05/03/2009 02:18 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML

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Prince Charming

muskogee - 20/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML

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jackson7787 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 1:32

Ha, someone's not getting anything tonight anymore.

greenfairy_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 1:50

damn, the stories on here about what guys say to their girlfriends make me feel really glad I'm single

TheBigDawg 8

Wednesday 18 March 2009 22:50

When are women going to realize that most guys, myself included, simply can *not* pick up on hints like that. When a woman says "I'm fine," she's more than often not. "Don't get me anything for (whatever occasion)" says "Get me something nice." Ladies, just do us males a favor and don't hint, just come right out and say "You. Me. Bed. Now." We'll both be happier that way.

ggen 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 8:35

#63 has a point, I have to admit. Sometimes I hint at stuff and my bf won't get it. And he's a sensitive and smart guy. Women DO have different lingo than men. But for marshmallowssss, that is harsh if it wasn't a joke and I hope you got him back for it.

fuckmylife13_fml 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 19:08

hahahahahaha that's funny!!!! but maybe you really don't need it...

Rantie 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 2:10

Nice try on your part. FAIL on his

BillieJ 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 6:26

Wow, I hate the comment feature. FML should just get rid of it, it's just an excuse for people to be assholes anonymously, and start pointless fights.

moonlight_daze 8

Wednesday 9 September 2009 6:52

Then don't read them. (Or post them).

katherinebby17 28

Saturday 25 April 2009 5:43

even if thats true that wasnt a nice way of saying it

kimpylump 0

Friday 12 June 2009 9:26

Frankly I'm surprised a fat chick even got a date. Dang congrats on that. Blind date or something... But seriously even though you got past dinner you weren't going to make it to the bedroom. Go on a diet.

wowwcaazoww 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 20:04

Some of the people commenting on this FML are bastards. she could be fat, she could be slim...either way the boyfriend is a bit of a jack ass for saying it regardless. and who the **** doesnt pick up on the sexy tone?