Budget Spa - FML

Budget Spa

By FML Approved - 25/10/2017 20:30

Who else is ready to take a personal day with this dog?

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 120

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Top comments

Donut_Wizard 23

Wednesday 25 October 2017 22:38

I see carrots. Is it a bath, or are they making a stew?

Akitakat 31

Thursday 26 October 2017 14:36

Ok... that is just too cute for words! :)

Comments

Donut_Wizard 23

Wednesday 25 October 2017 22:38

I see carrots. Is it a bath, or are they making a stew?

Akitakat 31

Thursday 26 October 2017 14:36

Ok... that is just too cute for words! :)

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The Top

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 2 823

Today, I hooked up with a man for the first time since my divorce. The sex was mind-blowing. His pillow talk then began with something like, “A cabal of Hollywood celebrities and political insiders want to rape your children…” I’m so dry now, I think I hit menopause. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 927

You deserved it 402

Random

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 201

You deserved it 20 938

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 495

You deserved it 2 907

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 536

You deserved it 5 145

Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 686

You deserved it 4 348

Today, I went to CVS to print out some pictures. I accidentally printed out a booty pic, tried to go behind the counter and they yelled at me, "Ma’m you’re not supposed to be behind here." Then the lady held up the picture and said, "Was this one the accident?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 1 331

Today, I’m a retiree who recently joined a gym for the first time. The trainer asked me what my goals were. I said, honestly, “To not fall over.” He nodded and wrote it down. Later I saw my workout plan titled: ANTI-FALL PROTOCOL. Other gym members now ask me how my falling is going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 104