By FML Approved - 13/07/2017 18:30 I agree, your life sucks 513 You deserved it 149 Share Tweet Share
Today, I ran into a friend that I hadn't seen in about 5 years. She had her 4-year-old son with her. I couldn’t help but notice her son looked almost identical to mine. He even had a very distinct facial feature that my husband has as well. What are the odds all three of them have the same defect? FML I agree, your life sucks 3 530 You deserved it 264
Today, my best friend whom I have been in love with for years, called me, proposed, and confessed his love for me. He was at a noisy bar so I asked him to call me back later and we'd discuss it. He called back later, hungover, with no recollection of our conversation whatsoever. FML I agree, your life sucks 57 728 You deserved it 5 381
Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML I agree, your life sucks 9 365 You deserved it 65 584
Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray, hairs leading from the sandwich into my mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 022 You deserved it 3 515
Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My steering wheel. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 708 You deserved it 157
Today, I remembered that I chose my career of the last decade because, unlike my job in the dying newspaper industry, "concerts aren’t going anywhere." FML I agree, your life sucks 1 556 You deserved it 191
Today, it’s my birthday. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in June and was not planning on having another kid. Took a Plan B pill after a rendezvous in August, but found out this AM that I’m pregnant. Guess the Plan B didn’t work. FML I agree, your life sucks 324 You deserved it 236
Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML. I agree, your life sucks 145 You deserved it 282
Those aren’t the droids I’m looking for.