Management

One rule for thee…

By Anonymous - 30/07/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I got screamed at by my boss for holding a guy to corporate policy at a rental agency. The guy was rich, so apparently rules don't apply to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 89

Intelligent design

By Anonymous - 21/01/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our boss replaced all our computers with new Apple iMacs, which have fewer USB ports and none of our software or saved files. He insists it’s all “in the Cloud thing somewhere, figure it out and show some damn gratitude.” We are now incapable of doing our jobs but he insists he’s blameless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 67

Polytrouble

By Anonymous - 07/11/2023 00:02

Today, I'm in a polyamorous relationship. My husband and my boyfriend are both aware and are okay with it. Today they met. Not only are they okay with each other, they’ve hit it off. They've drafted a schedule of which days they want, meals, and chores for me on those days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 980

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 01/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, I received an email from my boss announcing a new company policy that everyone already hates. Meaning to vent, I typed a snarky reply meant for my friend, saying, "Guess we’re all fucking robots now, huh?" I'd hit "Reply All" instead. Now the entire office, including my boss, knows exactly what I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 706

Work faster

By Shoot me now - 15/09/2022 14:00 - United States - Falls Church

Today, my boss accused me of eyeing for a promotion when I suggested a solution to save our team time by staying on a 2-hour schedule in the mornings. He told me we average 3 hours for our production, but his goal for this area is 90 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 115

Office politics

By Anonymous - 04/06/2024 00:00

Today, I was turned down for a promotion because of complaints on my file. I’d never heard of them, so I demanded to see them. Every complaint was filed in the last six months and signed by either him or the other manager who doesn’t like me. Guess who got promoted instead? His “secret” side chick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 84

Safety last

By Anonymous - 06/06/2024 06:00 - New Zealand

Today, my foreman complained that I was slowing down productivity and costing the company money, all because I was wearing a harness to protect me from falling over the edge of a three story building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 103

Welcome to reality

By Anonymous - 04/01/2024 12:00 - United States - Warren

Today, my dad came home roughly 3 hours early. He came back because he was laid off from his job, because there was no work for him on his current shift and they haven't found a replacement shift for him at the job he's currently at. Shouldn't they have figured that out in advance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 97

Top dog

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Normanton

Today, my sexist, misogynistic boss showed me a new program we all have to use. After several minutes of him explaining it badly and belittling me for doing it wrong, I opened a sub-folder that showed that I CREATED THE PROGRAM. He walked away, then later wrote me up for "having a bad attitude." FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 140

Guess who?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2024 09:00

Today, after I fired a guy two weeks ago for being a lazy ass, I'd put his job out for applicants to apply, I was going to have the interviews. My assistant informed me only one person applied. It was him, applying to get his job back. I had to rehire him because the position needed filling today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 567

Right and wrong

By mig monkey - 09/11/2022 14:00 - United States

Today, I got reamed out because we charged a customer $300 in labor, all because my manager doesn't know anything about how car electrical systems work, and I found the issue in the car about 4 hours before the manager decided he was right about it having a parasitic draw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 98

'Tis always the way

By Christine - 09/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Gary

Today, I found out that my manager has been stealing my ideas. The worst part? He made me work overtime to complete the project that I originally proposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 78

Do something, anything

By Anonymous - 16/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was assigned to work on a group project with some coworkers. The entire time, one guy insisted on "taking charge" and assigning everyone tasks. He gave me a single task: “Create a 15-slide presentation.” I completed it in less than an hour. He then decided we needed a 100-slide presentation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 78

Jot that down

By mustanggt - 16/03/2023 18:00 - United States - Coronado

Today, my workplace's new policy requires me to ask employees why they're calling out sick. I had to listen to the answer, "When it comes out of your bum, like a bullet from a gun…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 147

The value of labor

By Chad - 28/09/2024 20:00 - Belgium

Today, after working for over a decade at the same place, I was formally written up with two days of leave without pay for refusing to work extra overtime. I've been working over 80 hours a week for four months now and even cancelled some very important plans so I could work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 92

America, fix your bathroom stalls

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 675

Thanks, Rebecca

By Anonymous - 03/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Columbia

Today, a client called my supervisor to complain that I wasn’t answering my phone. Then they called patients' advocate and submitted a second complaint. I was on my lunch break, but still got written up the moment I returned. No, I wasn’t late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 70

Great management skills

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 15:00 - Germany - Kempten (Allgäu)

Today, my boss screamed at me because I didn't do what he'd said, despite him never giving me a specific order. A colleague was supposed to test an app. He can only do that with a tablet. How dare I give the coworker the tablet I was setting up anyway and not a specific one? He is done testing BTW. The app sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 68

I'm listening

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 09:00

Today, and for the last week of job training, I’ve listened to my new boss go on about how we care about our customers and want to engage with our community, even though at the end of every workday I watch him empty the complaints boxes straight into recycling, without reading a single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 79

Inspirational

By Not sick enough - 09/10/2023 12:30 - United States

Today, I called in sick to work. My boss told me there's no excuse for sick days, because she once came in to work while suffering from pneumonia. Apparently, that's supposed to be impressive and inspiring. I don't know about you, but bad medical decisions aren't very inspirational to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 109

No fun allowed

By karmas a kunt - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at work when an elderly lady casually mentioned it was her birthday. I motioned two of my coworkers over, and we sang a little "Happy Birthday" to her over the phone. Our boss stormed in mid-song and suspended all three of us on the spot for "unprofessional behavior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 827

You deserved it 2 925

Assessment time, baby

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 12:00 - Switzerland

Today, my work told my they are launching a work performance investigation. That would be OK, if the only person assessing me wasn't the same person giving me the tasks that have nothing to do with my experience, and thus causing the low performance. My kids need my work visa to stay in the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 120

Piss poor management

By God dammit - 27/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my boss called on my day off and told me to come to work. She neglected to tell me that it was simply to give me my recent paycheck after it got lost, but then she said, "Since you showed up in uniform, you might as well clock in for today. The new guy no-showed again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 105

What the hell, guys?

By disgruntled - 26/03/2019 18:00

Today, I was passed over for a team lead role at work which went to my older male coworker instead. He repeatedly said that he only wanted the position for the money and didn’t care about leading. When I asked why he was offered the role over me, they said he had more leadership experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 043

You deserved it 283

Cost effective

By Anonymous - 26/06/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss told me I’m doing too much overtime, and that it’s draining our budget. I never volunteer for overtime, I don’t need it. Every bit of overtime I do is shit he says I have to do to meet deadlines, most of which are just the parts of his job he can’t be bothered to learn how to do himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 91

Scammed out

By Karen - 05/08/2024 09:00 - United States - Solon

Today, after leaving one job, reducing my hours at another, completing all the onboarding requirements for a nursing home, and dealing with serious anxiety, I was told they don’t have hours available for me and don’t know when they will. I got laid off before even starting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 87

Bosses gonna boss

By Anonymous - 18/06/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss yelled at me because every time he does his checklist walk-through of the warehouse I’m always sat on my ass in the break room, either watching television or fast asleep. Yeah, he does his walk-through every day between 12:30 and 12:45, right in the middle of my lunch break. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 86

Seize the means

By pygmyfrog - 10/12/2020 14:02

Today, I watched a supervisor in our workspace staple an underling's skirt to her shirt, as the supervisor didn't like her wearing a hip-level skirt, despite having no public contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 103

Manager of the year

By xmeatballx21 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday." He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 989

You deserved it 3 512

All over the place

By Anonymous - 02/06/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, I run a business with my partner, and work at a separate business as an employee. My partner got Covid, so our business is closed for now. I got it from him, but still need to work at the other place because the only other employee flew to Turkey on holiday, and the owner has no idea how to run her own business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 146

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, in a train, I did the old "I've got your nose" trick for a kid. He got off at the next stop, then waved something at me from the platform, then yelled, "I've got your keys!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 144

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 771

You deserved it 7 870

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 218

You deserved it 2 714

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him, "If you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was, "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 430

You deserved it 22 805

Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 037

You deserved it 6 863

Today, I took my first yoga class ever. Everything was going fine until it was time to stand up from the floor. My knees made a sound like snapping wood, my balance disappeared, and I nearly took out the lady next to me while trying to recover. She helped me up like I was part of her family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 71