Family

Give it back!

By Anonymous - 08/05/2022 14:00

Today, I found out that my brother has been stealing money from me for the past five months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 107

Tense dinner

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 00:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to dinner with my husband's family to celebrate our nephew's birthday. He spent the entire dinner flirting with his sister, then got offended when I said that his behavior was weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 164

Dream on

By No more monkeys! - 28/05/2024 07:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my husband’s dream has always been to have a big family. I however cannot physically or mentally handle having any more. He’s now threatening to hire a surrogate to continue pumping out babies for him. We already have 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 139

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 02:00

Today, as caregiver, I had to physically remove the shit my grandpa had stuck in his rectum, because he doesn't remember how to shit. He barely knows who I am, which is good because when he remembers who he is, he becomes an abusive asshole. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 98

It's a man's world

By He started it! - 13/07/2024 03:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I got tired of my brother-in-law making disgusting immature misogynistic remarks so I decided to shut him down by boasting that I make twice his annual salary in a month. Now my husband is pissed at me for humiliating his brother, and letting everyone know out-earn them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 208

Delusional

By eyeroll - 26/02/2022 18:00

Today, my sister has been going on and on about how sexy her new doctor is. She’s been plotting to fake an illness just to see him again. When I explained that doctors are professionals and even if he were interested it would be unethical for him to say so, she called me a fat, jealous loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 151

Daddy's girl

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 14:00 - Guam

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me, a month after I'd proposed and she'd said yes. When asked why all of the sudden, she said her family disapproved of me, and I wasn't worth fighting for and potentially losing her father's love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 147

Stuck in the middle with you

By dadlife - 08/06/2021 04:01

Today, I heard my wife and daughter arguing. My wife took away my daughter's phone and laptop for being disrespectful. My daughter screamed, calling her mom a fat cow. My wife simply said, "Yeah, well you’re gonna look exactly like me when you grow up!" Now they’re both locked in rooms, crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 117

Daddy's little girl

By what did I raise?! - 19/03/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, my daughter asked to use my phone to find hers. Instead, she sent multiple messages to my boyfriend, trying to break up with him. When asked why she did it, she said it’s because she wants me to get back with her father. This would be somewhat understandable if she wasn’t 32 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 152

Nervous Nelly

By Odnel - 27/07/2013 04:47 - United States - Arlington

Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 221

You deserved it 3 841

********

By Frank - 18/02/2023 16:00

Today, my brother put feces on my windshield and released a hoard of crickets, usually used to feed his bearded dragon, inside my car seats, all because I didn’t give him some money from my deceased daughter’s life insurance payout to spend on a new car and a PS5. The kicker? He claims I’M the selfish one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 101

New life

By Anonymous - 27/12/2020 17:04 - Germany

Today, after losing my job, my apartment and my man, I had to move back in with my mom, at 37. She’s a total slob; I can’t function without clean, organized spaces. So, hey, at least I have a new full-time job now: cleaning up after her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 199

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 06/09/2023 04:00

Today, my mom died suddenly in a car crash on holiday in Spain. My husband has been struggling not to smile like a Cheshire Cat all fucking day because 1) they hated each other and 2) mom was as rich as Croesus and I’m her only child. I want my mom back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 141

Stay mad

By shut mouth - 11/10/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, my mother is upset that I won’t share things with her anymore. This is the woman who spent my entire childhood gossiping about every teeny tiny detail of my life, and used my suicide attempt as a way to garner pity for herself. Yeah, no thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 134

Where am I right now?

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 13:00 - United States - Livermore

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 89

Nepo baby

By WretchedOwls - 03/03/2016 23:59 - United States - Barberton

Today, after weeks of my brother being laid off from work, I was able to finagle him an interview for one of the entry level positions at my work. He got the job, only to refuse it because it doesn't pay enough. I thought 9 dollars an hour was a lot more than 0 dollars an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 564

You deserved it 1 724

A boy can dream

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 00:30

Today, I told my family about my dreams to get a modern car and house with my girlfriend, since I'm tired of fixing my '90s car and paying for my dad's rent and doing all his housework. They then told me I'm selfish for trying to leave them and that I don't care about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 227

You deserved it 106

Close-knit family unit

By Anonymous - 27/05/2022 09:00 - United Kingdom - Redcar

Today, I woke up to my sister with her hand wrapped gently around my balls, saying, “Don’t lie or I’ll squeeze.” She wanted to know if I’d eaten her strawberries. I said no. She'd looked my bin and saw the empty packet. She looked back at me and squeezed. The pain made me late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 3 320

Unstable

By Lala - 22/01/2025 04:00 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, after agreeing to hang out with my husband and his alcoholic mother after his father’s suicide, my mother-in-law found out that my sister-in-law and I playfully insult each other. She lost her mind and practically bit my head off, relapsed, and blamed my “disrespecting her daughter” on said relapse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 65

Life choices

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I'd always thought my sister was an idiot for having her kids in her teens and early 20s before she was ready. Thing is, she’s now in her early 30s, her kids are grown, and she’s loving life. I had my kids in my 30s. By the time they’re grown, I’ll be old and broken down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 471

Privacy or family?

By Anonymous - 16/04/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, it’s my first week working in a OB office. The amount of married men bringing in their pregnant sidechicks is absolutely sickening, but the worst part is one of them was my sister’s husband! I’m scared I’ll get fired if I tell her, even though he wasn’t the patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 102

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 166

Oh no, not you

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 00:01

Today, I had no idea my dad and my fiancé's dad are old enemies, until we brought our families together for the first time since we met and COVID rules were relaxed. Long story short, there was a brawl, lots of drinking, a destroyed back garden and we’re not engaged anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 100

Alexa, play "Don't Go" by Yazoo

By Anonymous - 26/08/2021 02:01

Today, my mother broke into my emails and rejected the best job offer I’ve ever had, all because the job is on the other side of the country, and she’s a selfish bitch who doesn't want to be left completely alone, since she has no friends and our relatives don’t speak to her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 119

People disprove

By matt - 12/03/2021 08:01

Today, I, a forty year-old man, went to the store with my teenage daughter and infant son. I got some very dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 139

Live, laugh, love no one

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 23:01

Today, I got flowers from a secret admirer. Turns out they were from my sister's in-laws who own a flower shop. Apparently, everyone feels bad that I'm single and they are convinced I'm gonna die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 132

Let that sink in

By vegasman20002 - 18/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Garden City

Today, my father-in-law shat himself in my bathroom and tried to flush some of the evidence down my sink. Sink that I'd just cleaned up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 66

Are you sure?

By Anonymous - 15/04/2021 11:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I sent a picture of my two little nephews to my friends, who now keep telling me how my older nephew looks exactly like me. They’re starting to make awkward statements such as, “Are you sure you didn’t have sex with your sister in-law?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 118

Why are you like this?

By Bea - 11/07/2021 17:59 - Brazil - Sao Paulo

Today, thinking it would be funny I tried tricking my boyfriend into thinking my grandparents were cousins, and that I was the product of incest. This would have been a great prank, if he hadn't have said, "You know what? That actually makes sense. It all makes sense now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 1 557

This is us

By Anonymous - 22/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, CPS came to my door because they found out that I didn't report it when my sister abandoned her kids on my doorstep. They're telling me that I'm going to have to take them down to the foster care center and go through the proper channels if I want to keep them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 84

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 666

You deserved it 33 259

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 328

You deserved it 14 761

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 192

You deserved it 5 665

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 46

Today, with one week left until I fly to my new apartment, movers loaded my belongings, and happily drove off. They even loaded my unpacked, inflated air mattress. Looks like I'm sleeping on the floor for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 602

You deserved it 388

Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 821

You deserved it 206