Dating

Bad date

By GothicGhosty - 12/06/2023 00:02

Today I got stuck in a restaurant booth and needed my date to help pull me out. I'm only 23. Safe to say he won't be calling me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 410

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 281

Deception

By bobthenun - 20/03/2013 21:16 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived, I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 303

You deserved it 10 778

Dating sucks

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 10:00

Today, my latest date ended so badly that I was back home by 8 p.m., drunk on cheap wine, and screaming at myself in the mirror, “What is wrong with you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 593

Dating is hell

By Pauline - 14/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, after I finally matched with someone who could spell, had a job, and liked dogs. Mid-date, he said climate change is a hoax and offered me Ivermectin for my allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 178

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 18:00

Today, I got slapped by a date because she thought I was making fun of her speech impediment. I wasn't making fun, I just have the same speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 124

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Single&Broke - 19/05/2022 18:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, a guy invited me to a first date at a new restaurant. I was going to pay my way, but when he saw how steep the bill was, he insisted that I pay for his meal too, to prove I'm a "real feminist". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 240

Stable genius

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 02:02 - United States - New York

Today, I went on a short date with a new girl in the office, who everyone thought was a tad bit odd. Also today, she showed me the names of our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 256

The struggle is real

By Any mouse - 06/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I'm a 46 year-old woman who hates online dating, and who is now single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 204

Ghosted

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I gave up on Grindr because every time someone finally sees my picture, they ghost me. Either I’m really ugly, or most of the world hates black guys, either way… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 264

Dating sucks

By Anonymous - 26/11/2021 19:59

Today, I had a horrible date with this guy I’ve been seeing. He wanted me to give it up, but I wasn’t ready, so he dumped me on the spot. I went home crying to my mother and her response was, “Stop being such a prude! What are you? Ten? Grow the fuck up!” Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 452

You deserved it 496

In a hurry

By bubbles - 10/06/2022 16:00

Today, my husband got home from a date, since he can't wait for our divorce to go through on account of his cheating. I literally put off medical school for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 190

So you had a bad date…

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 14:00

Today, I got a wax to be sexy for my date, but the whole area came up in this nasty rash with bumps and white spots, nasty as hell. When I told him sex was off the table for a few days, he stopped being charming, spent most of the night on his phone then left early with a bad excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 302

Are men OK?

By Anon - 14/07/2023 18:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I had a manbaby on a dating app tell me that I should experience more transphobia, because I declined to sleep with him behind his wife's back. Dating as a trans person is hard enough, but WTF, dude? FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 416

Fidgeting

By Anonymous - 17/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I was on a first date when my lactose intolerance decided to make an appearance. My date thought I was just “getting comfy” when I kept shifting in my seat. Nope, I was trying not to fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 92

Legal Eagle

By Anonymous - 29/11/2021 05:01

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 2 799

Back to the comfort zone I go

By Anonymous - 24/10/2024 18:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I tried to step out of my comfort zone and go out with a guy who’s not my usual type. He spent the whole date griping and complaining about how women never go for “nice guys” like him. When I pointed out we were currently on a date, he said, “I mean hot girls.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 118

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Israel

Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 538

You deserved it 4 992

Not today, thank you

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 00:01

Today, I tried reaching out to a girl on Facebook I thought I ended on good terms with after three dates. Not only did she not accept my friend request, she also disabled all friend requests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 355

Alexa, play "Happy When it Rains" by The Jesus and Mary Chain

By milo jj - 09/02/2022 21:59

Today, I went on a date with a girl who told me, “Sunny weather makes me depressed.” I’d hate to see what’s she’s like when it rains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 243

You can't handle the truth!

By Anonymous - 27/04/2023 00:00

Today, my friend told me she saw the girl I like at a single's night after I'd asked her out and rejecting me, for being in a complicated relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 265

Classic move

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 546

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 17/10/2024 00:00 - India - Bengaluru

Today, I found a really amazing person on a dating site. We had just begun our conversation and within 15-20 minutes, the site went offline. I thought she'd ghosted me, and she's probably thinking the same too. It's been two hours and it's still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 111

Surprise!

By Whyme - 30/06/2022 06:00

Today, I went on a date with my a man I’ve been seeing at a restaurant. I went to use the restroom. When I came back, he and my purse were gone. He won’t answer my phone calls or texts, and he blocked me on Instagram. I’ve been ghosted and robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 260

By Anonymous - 23/05/2017 14:00

Today, I went on a date after months of rejection and loneliness. Everything was going great until my date argued with me over the correct way to pronounce my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 193

You deserved it 323

Cursed

By Freddie - 25/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 143

Grindr danger

By notagain - 07/03/2020 09:01

Today, while on Grindr, I met a guy who seemed really nice and we hit it off. After chatting for a bit, I received a message from his wife, telling me I'd better leave him alone. This isn't the first time that's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 307

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 24/07/2025 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was on a first date with a gorgeous and seemingly fun woman. After ordering, she pulled some plastic utensils from her purse. She then explained, “I always carry my own because I don’t want to get a fork a black person may have used before me.” I got up and left without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 130

Spillage

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 06:00

Today, while at a restaurant on a date, I spilled red wine on the white tablecloth. The waiter came over with a new one, saying, "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone's spilled wine here." My date leaned over and whispered, "It's the first time someone's spilled it on me, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 156

This is wrong on so many levels

By Catfished - 04/11/2024 00:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, I was supposed to meet up with a girl I met on a dating app and had been chatting with. We exchanged the classic, "I'll be here and wearing this." At the location, a girl from a distance, wearing the described outfit, was checking me out. I immediately bailed out. Not only she is 9, she is also a student of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 129

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 888

You deserved it 23 148

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 183

You deserved it 4 240

Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 066

You deserved it 5 468

Today, my colleague came back from vacation so I no longer have to do her job on top of mine. My bosses saw this as the perfect occasion to barge into my office every five minutes to hand me tasks. When I asked for a ten-minute break to do a task that needed concentration, they barged in again after five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 95

Today, I tried to hang a new shelf in my apartment. I measured, drilled, and installed it perfectly level, only to realize a few minutes later I'd drilled into the side of a pipe. Water started shooting out like a geyser and almost flooded my bathroom. My shelf looks great, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 511

Today, as a giant crowd of people and I had walked across a parking lot, I yelled out to a friend waiting in their car for me, "I DIDN'T FALL THIS TIME!" (I always fall when it's winter) to then literally taking a single step to slip and slide what felt like 20 feet to someone yelling out, "AND SAFE!" like an umpire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 174