New creepypasta just dropped By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 08:34 - United States Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML I agree, your life sucks 89 542 You deserved it 4 388 Share Tweet Share
Today, during a snowstorm, I opened my car door to get out. The wind snapped it wide open, then immediately changed course and swung it back at me just as I stepped out, spilling an entire hot cup of coffee all over me. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 296 You deserved it 4 379
Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 471 You deserved it 5 009
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML I agree, your life sucks 59 991 You deserved it 2 856
Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML I agree, your life sucks 467 You deserved it 191
Today, I found out, after months of being made to think I'm crazy, that my girlfriend has a complete online presence across 10+ cam/OnyFans/websites/Telegram, etc. It's my biggest trigger, my previous partner did the same on a much bigger scale. She denied it to the point of me moving out. FML I agree, your life sucks 469 You deserved it 104
Today, I sneezed so hard, my smartwatch congratulated me for starting a workout. It ended up being the most exercise I got all day. FML I agree, your life sucks 226 You deserved it 137