Anonymous - 27/11/2019 05:55 Today I realized I will never hear back from my first love... after two years together, he ghosted me and start dating a 17 year old (he's 20). Last message I have from his says "I love you so much, babe" FML 121 10
Today, I got a call from my parents that they have decided to get a divorce. My brothers and I just shelled out $5,000 each and spent months planning their 50th Anniversary party that was supposed to be next month. FML 57 244 3 210
Today, I woke up to strange texts from friends asking if I was OK, and asking what happened last night. Apparently, I texted my close friends contact list a rambling love letter to pizza before going to bed. I'm never taking Ambien BEFORE getting into bed again. FML 319 181
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML 2 179 274
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML 32 794 4 533
Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML 41 399 3 583
Today, my mother gave me a Christmas present for the first time in 15 years: a dog. Her 16-year-old, untrained, mean dog who wears diapers. FML 42 634 3 050