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Patches_fml

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Grundarfjörður, Iceland
34 years-old
Monday 11 November 1991
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Suggestions for you

By Anonymous - 24/04/2009 22:53 - United States

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

agreeclassic 66 917

vote type 1 9 077

Demons

By Anonymous - 15/04/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her that, "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here." She replied, "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

agreeclassic 67 588

vote type 1 6 349

By Fitz - 12/04/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

agreeclassic 423

vote type 1 20

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

agreeclassic 512

vote type 1 153