tuker167

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Tuker167's favorite FMLs

Thanks, Mr Whiskers

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 06:13 - Canada

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

agreeclassic 29 895

vote type 1 5 990

Not a science major

By dumb mother - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm, and cause cancer. FML

agreeclassic 25 370

vote type 1 5 159

Thin skinned

By cbad - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

agreeclassic 13 152

vote type 1 48 803

By demk - 20/08/2009 14:51 - United States

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

agreeclassic 92 865

vote type 1 8 055

By Kulcha - 13/02/2009 11:07 - Australia

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

agreeclassic 31 436

vote type 1 40 482