okwtvfml

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Okwtvfml's favorite FMLs

Stitched up

By Busted - 26/07/2010 12:26 - South Africa

Today, I was woken up by the police pounding on my door, saying I was under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs, then plant them on my front lawn. FML

agreeclassic 43 370

vote type 1 4 893

By gorillalove - 11/09/2010 19:25 - United States

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

agreeclassic 44 327

vote type 1 10 571

By kiki - 05/08/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

agreeclassic 46 366

vote type 1 3 885

By Luke - 05/08/2010 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML

agreeclassic 27 606

vote type 1 11 797

By kinky - 05/08/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

agreeclassic 33 677

vote type 1 38 020