ricekrispies_fml

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Ricekrispies_fml's favorite FMLs

No joking please

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 02:08 - United States

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked, "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

agreeclassic 31 002

vote type 1 7 722

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

agreeclassic 47 129

vote type 1 3 668

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 20:13 - France

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

agreeclassic 30 339

vote type 1 7 578

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

agreeclassic 32 203

vote type 1 4 390

Wanking yourself to death

By SkinsCastSelection - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

agreeclassic 20 312

vote type 1 47 647