ObnoxiousJeans

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Birmingham, America
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complicated

A propos de Obnoxiousjeans

I really don't like introductions. I'm single. I'm awesome. I am in between hating myself and being the most sexy fucker in the world. I'm a procrastinating, hypocritical, otaku, yandere, feminist, pacifist. I am 64% asshole. I took a quiz, so of course it's true. Duh. I'm also sarcastic. I'm also forgetful. I also really really don't like introductions

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Obnoxiousjeans's favorite FMLs

By daughterinlaw - 18/12/2012 17:09 - United States - La Plata

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

agreeclassic 63 583

vote type 1 4 338

By I said whaat - 18/12/2012 16:50

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

agreeclassic 15 175

vote type 1 36 870

Bathtime

By LemmyIsWet - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

agreeclassic 13 961

vote type 1 27 939

By Dog_Lover - 18/12/2012 15:30 - Canada - Montreal

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

agreeclassic 35 756

vote type 1 9 715

By Bajar - 18/12/2012 19:53 - Australia

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

agreeclassic 42 364

vote type 1 4 050

Bajar app_comment_confession_title

Bajar 1

Wednesday 19 December 2012 7:01

Hey all, OP here. To clarify a few things: it was at the airport lounge, the mother and son had a double couch together and I had a single chair next to the son. The water bottle was disposable and on a clearly visible pocket in my backpack. I still have no idea what I did wrong.