Loriwuzhere

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Loriwuzhere's favorite FMLs

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

agreeclassic 31 964

vote type 1 50 991

Jacked

By Anonymous - 22/05/2013 09:44 - United Kingdom - London

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

agreeclassic 44 016

vote type 1 3 840

By SadPuppy - 22/05/2013 07:14 - United States

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

agreeclassic 46 847

vote type 1 3 554

Family is for sharing

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - San Leandro

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

agreeclassic 53 179

vote type 1 4 619

By MrConcise - 01/05/2013 16:28 - United States

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

agreeclassic 41 965

vote type 1 9 068

MrConcise app_comment_confession_title

MrConcise 34

Wednesday 1 May 2013 23:53

Here's how it went down: The previous shop owner retired just before I started working at my job. I took over his office, but he left a lot of shit behind. Besides, when you find a pen that actually works, you don't look too far into it. I suppose the girl riding the moped should've tipped me off a little sooner, though.