lilhommiedizzle

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Lilhommiedizzle's favorite FMLs

By sad - 24/04/2009 08:18 - United States

Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML

agreeclassic 70 295

vote type 1 3 969

By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML

agreeclassic 441

vote type 1 43

Pranked real good

By kekumbas - 05/05/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML

agreeclassic 51 710

vote type 1 3 866

By penisface69 - 05/05/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, I was talking with this cute guy. I mentioned the fact that I'm single. His response, "It'd be awkward, but we can still fuck." FML

agreeclassic 68 356

vote type 1 9 917

penisface69 app_comment_confession_title

penisface69 17

Wednesday 6 May 2009 2:57

he said it would be awkward if we went out cause hes a freshman and im a junior. and it wasnt spontaneous. i told him i was bored and he told me to go ********** and i told him im sick of masturbating and he was like what? how is taht even possible? and i was like well ive been doing it for half a decade. it gets old. i need a boyfriend.

The price of love

By broke - 05/05/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I got home from visiting my long-distance girlfriend. I spent $366 to get a plane ticket to visit her for the week. The day after I arrived there, she broke up with me and I had to buy a ticket for an earlier flight home. With fees and penalties, I paid around $550 to be broken up with. FML

agreeclassic 66 728

vote type 1 5 226