allykaymorris

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34 years-old
Friday 26 July 1991
single

A propos de Allykaymorris

Mommy. Amateur photographer. Professional napper. Artist. Calligraphist. Happy. I've been told I'm a cool cat, but you can decide if it's true. I like cake, CoD, dubstep and late night hide-and-seek games in Walmart. I have a baby girl that I'd give the moon to if I could. I'm a wanderer, wild and free.

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Allykaymorris's favorite FMLs

Fart are funny, period

By amg85904 - 30/01/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

agreeclassic 26 917

vote type 1 6 607

By Quendolin - 09/11/2015 14:07 - Germany

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML

agreeclassic 23 894

vote type 1 2 607

By seethroughpee - 06/05/2015 05:22 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

agreeclassic 32 317

vote type 1 3 994

By mafille - 19/03/2015 03:22 - France

Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML

agreeclassic 569

vote type 1 60

By sam882 - 23/02/2015 06:49 - United States - Saegertown

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

agreeclassic 38 193

vote type 1 3 792

sam882 app_comment_confession_title

sam882 28

Monday 23 February 2015 21:21

I was completely shocked and at the same time embarrassed. I had to just walk away, completely speechless. It took a moment to register with me that i actually heard that. haha