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_nada_'s favorite FMLs

By jane - 09/10/2009 14:04 - Australia

Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML

agreeclassic 33 453

vote type 1 11 499

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 16:01 - United States

Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML

agreeclassic 43 353

vote type 1 3 114

kaylaclark app_comment_confession_title

kaylaclark 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:32

wellll since you all must know I have curtains! But when it is sunny outside why close them? I didn't chat with him long enough to ask what time of day he watches me, but it's creepy at ALL times. And no, I probably won't get raped thankyouverymuch...having a creepy neighbor doesn't mean I'll be sexually assaulted :)

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML

agreeclassic 50 757

vote type 1 2 535

By redisnotmycolor - 16/11/2009 01:46 - United States

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

agreeclassic 39 000

vote type 1 3 558

By Anonymous - 11/11/2009 00:28 - United States

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

agreeclassic 13 415

vote type 1 81 088