anonymousempress

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Shepard's bush , uk
35 years-old
Wednesday 24 January 1990
couple

A propos de Anonymousempress

funny loves a good laugh, interesting ,will mess you up if you get out of hand

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Anonymousempress's favorite FMLs

By sydysyd - 21/11/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

agreeclassic 20 491

vote type 1 54 106

By Badaboom - 23/05/2011 10:54 - Netherlands

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

agreeclassic 42 906

vote type 1 6 354

No more treats

By Fatty1970 - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

agreeclassic 38 267

vote type 1 20 062

By Derek Lee - 22/05/2011 13:53 - United States

Today, I sold my Xbox 360 on Craigslist. I met the dude at the mall. I gave him my Xbox and a handshake for buying. I left without the money. FML

agreeclassic 18 870

vote type 1 70 394

Nature is healing

By squirrels69ing - 22/05/2011 01:00 - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

agreeclassic 48 053

vote type 1 6 292